Альбом Senses Fail

Fireworks at dawn
as I sip for assistance.
This flask keeps me calm
it reflects back my bent image
Of someone who's lost
and getting older by the minute.
Laugh lines are like growing scars
someday they will be finished.
I've got so many places that I want to see
and I've got so many faces that I want to be.
So get on your feet
wipe the dirt off and get with it.
Destiny waits at your door
you move on because the past can't be your passion.
So what if you did something wrong,
find someone who hasn't.

I've got so many places that I want to see
and I've got so many faces that I want to be.

This head is haunted by a chorus in the sky
The voices aren’t mine
I kiss the darkness as I see the whites of their eyes
They’re crawling up my spine
They bloom at midnight in the middle of the moonlight

Strike a match!
Light the chandelier!
This bedroom is a ballroom now
Strike the band and make the dead dance
This room is filled with corpses in costumes

My guests dress in black and blue
I raise a toast to the few
The orchids are in bloom
There’s a dead note in the choir of the garden
The sun will kiss the gloom
The warden’s giving pardons soon

Strike a match!
Light the chandelier!
This bedroom is a ballroom now
Strike the band and make the dead dance
This room is filled with corpses in costumes
Strike the band and make the dead dance
(I kiss the darkness as I see the whites of their eyes)
Strike the band and dance, dance.

“This is your last night.
Do you believe in what you write?
We open the sky and we hope you see light.”

Strike a match!
Light the chandelier!
This bedroom is a ballroom now
Strike the band and make the dead dance
This room is filled with corpses in costumes
Strike the band and make the dead dance
(I kiss the darkness as I see the whites of their eyes)
Strike the band and dance, dance
(This room is filled with corpses in costumes)

I give blood to prove to myself
That I can matter to somebody else.

Is what makes a man the dirt on his hands?
If so, don't put you're faith in the dessert sand,
because the wind is always blowing
There are gallows deep inside my lungs, that's where I hung ambition

Is it luck that's knocking right on my back door?
Because I've been breaking mirrors since 1984

I walk under ladders, I spill salt on sores
and I open my umbrella even when I am indoors

So give me seven more

I give blood not for the cause but to slowly give up the person I was

Holding my breath won't help, everything went to hell
So now I steal back pennies from the well

because my wishes failed

I am screaming at my own shadow to stop living like a ghost

Is it luck that's knocking right on my back door?
Because I've been breaking mirrors since 1984

I walk under ladders, I spill salt on sores
and I open my umbrella even when I am indoors

I don't need her I'm not that desperate
Come visit me in twenty years and maybe then
cause I'm not done screaming yet
you can call off the intervention,

I don't need your attention

I tried to be the one that everybody loved
Where has that gotten me?
I tear myself to shreds to prove that I'm someone
That I could never be
Now these unsightly marks define me

So help me
Please someone come quick
I think I am losing it
Forgive me I inherited this
From a stranger I'll never miss
I'm sick

My father taught me first and how to be set free
Give up and run away
I wish I could drain out his half of blood in me
But I'd still have his face
I curse reflections everyday

So help me
Please someone come quick
I think I am losing it
Forgive me I inherited this
From a stranger I'll never miss

Here is my own family tradition
Following footsteps into addiction
So is there a way
That i can fight these
While still numbing my pain
Is this my fate
Cause your only son still can't seem to find some way

So help me
Please someone come quick
I think I am losing it
Forgive me I inherited this
From a stranger I'll never miss

So father where the hell are you now
I think that you would be proud
Your son who so unluckily fell right next to the tree

I hope you're proud of me
I hope you're proud...

Empty frames on the floor
There’s nothing left to prove who I was before
I’ll burn the pictures before I leave
And wipe my prints off from the scene
The embers will help me to grieve

I need a drink to take
To take me through the day
Sometimes I lie awake
And think of my mistakes
Was there ever a time when
We weren’t dying
And I wasn’t lying?
I know I fucked up
The last two years of your life.

Empty boxes by the door
I’m throwing out all the clothes that I once wore
They just don’t seem to fit my shape right now
My appetite for holding on has been washed down.
I’m on a liquid diet of
Cheap beer and wasted love
Tomorrow I will pay the price

I need a drink to take
To take me through the day
Sometimes I lie awake
And think of my mistakes
Was there ever a time when
We weren’t dying
And I wasn’t lying?
I know I fucked up
This is my last goodbye
I’ve hurt you enough

I know the morning’s going to hurt
But fuck it cause I know this works
“So just take out another glass and pour.”
Send the shivers down my spine
Calm the shakes with rotten wine
If I don’t get out of this house I’ll die
Or waste more of my life.

I need a drink to take
To take me through the day
Sometimes I lie awake
And think of my mistakes
Was there ever a time when
We weren’t dying
And I wasn’t lying?
I know I fucked up
This is my last goodbye
I’ve hurt you enough

The Garden State
Has never looked so pitiful and gray
As I awake to the garbage left today
I hope they take all of my old mistakes
'Cause I can't seem to shake them on my own

My eye it spins
When I look at the mirror glancing at the man I see
With anchors for his eyes
I build my castles up in the skies
So when it rains, they melt away with shame

Here I am
Looking down at the bottom of the glasses
It's all my fault that
I need a sign, like shooting stars
To help connect the dots
And turn my cuts into scars

All of my fears
Are getting checked by the medicine I take
All other guys just gather rumors of decent
There will be a riot in my heart soon
It wants to be beneath the open sky

Here I am
Looking down at the bottom of the glasses
It's all my fault that
I need a sign, like shooting stars
To help connect the dots
And turn my cuts into scars

My regrets are what keep me still alive,
I need to make up for the lies
My regrets are what keep me still alive,
I need to make up for the lies

Here I am
Looking down at the bottom of the glasses
It's all my fault that
I need a sign, like shooting stars
To help connect the dots
And turn my cuts into scars

Here I am
Looking down at the bottom of the glasses
It's all my fault that
I need a sign, like shooting stars
To help connect the dots
And turn my cuts into scars

My regrets are what keep me still alive,
I need to make up for the lies

I take a shot of gin, a Jameson or Jack to start the morning off with a friend
I'll celebrate like it's the anniversary of the day that we first met
I regret to see all your eulogies, separating all of this
To remind me of all the things I'm leaving

'Cause dear, four years turns less than five
(It's better off this way)
I'm sorry for all my crimes
And the wandering days of my old fable lies

Now I wonder as I'm sliding under, thus out of control of the drink
If I have enough left in the bottle to see all the things up again
I regret to see myself so full, my eyes are checking time
Still I don't know how I'll survive

'Cause dear, four years turns less than five
(It's better off this way)
I'm sorry for all my crimes
And the wandering days of my old fable lies
It's clear, I am an awful mess
(Get this off my back)
Soon the only thing I'll have left is your memory and promises never kept

When she came home, I made her sick
My feet tap out the rhythm as the drum kicked in
To hurt the only one I've loved
This is so damn hard, but I'm giving up

The person that you love is dead
I pried him out with the jack, and chains of sins
So happy anniversary
The best gift I could think to give you was to set you free

Wake up, you're sleeping
Wake up, you're sleeping behind the wheel
Wake up, you're sleeping
Wake up, you're sleeping behind the wheel
Behind the wheel

I’m giving up all expectations
That I will live a meaningful life
I once was filled with inspiration
That lion heart has lost his pride

I’m not the person that I thought that I would be
I keep tripping over the same steps
These words are beautiful
Advice is never useful
And I still walk the line held tight with my regrets
I’d rather die than live like this
I gotta give, I’m giving in

Some people never will go crazy
What horrible lives they must lead
I’m gonna try and pay to see it
And build a window to help me see

I’m not the person that I thought that I would be
I keep tripping over the same steps
These words are beautiful
Advice is never useful
And I still walk the line held tight with my regrets
I’d rather die than live like this
I gotta give, I’m giving in

I have got my eye lids stapled shut
I have failed but I'm used to it
My past is just that
It's a sunken old ship
There will be moments
I pretend that I can raise it up
Up out from the depths

Who the fuck am I kidding?
I was born with the curse of always giving in
Every day is another chance to make peace with myself
But I would rather play dead

Sure it looks easy when it's through my lies
A hero has a thousand faces, none of them matching mine
Fuck the world, fuck the stars, fuck the person you are
But nothing will matter if I don't give up folding my cards

I keep tripping over the same steps
These words are beautiful
Advice is never useful
And I still walk the line held tight with my regrets
I’d rather die than live like this
I gotta give, I’m giving in

As the car begins to roll
I smile as I lose control
This weightlessness is such a gift
'Cause gravity has lost its hold
I see the sky, and then the ground
Kaleidoscope of light and sound
Catching flashes of my life
Just then the house lights all went out
I wanna know myself so bad it hurts
I am a shelf holding on

I said goodbye so many times in my life
I'm surprised it's still so hard for me
To see that I should start living my life
Or I will die unfulfilled and empty

I come to still in the chair
As yellow angels step with care
My spinal cord's still sending shocks
But my life's in need of repair
There's got to be more than this
I don't want to just exist as a hollow house for bones
More every minute
Is there a place where I can start again?

Wake up, you're sleeping
Wake up, you're sleeping behind the wheel
Wake up, you're sleeping behind the wheel
Wake up, you're sleeping behind the wheel

Last night I found heaven
It's on the tip of my tongue
And it reminded me of
All the times I was young

I've got you right in my view now
I used to smile till the day I fell down
I have no idea who the hell I've become
It's not who I was, it's not who I loves

I want to drown, in a sea filled with Novocaine
I want to burn, on a beach where the sand
Has thousands of needles poking at my skin

I lie in bed to the sound, of the wolves at my door
They are speaking in tongues
While they claw at my floor

I never thought it would come to this
I'm more yellow than my abyss

(they're making branches) to even the score
Just open the door, just open the door

I want to drown, in a sea filled with Novocaine
I want to burn, on a beach where the sand
Is littered with razer blades
Littered with razer blades
Blades
Littered with razer blades

I can't hold on, the path is clear
I can't ignore, what's been building for years
There's wolves at the door, I won't hide here in fear
Wolves at the door, wah!

I look at myself and the things that I've done
Stare away from the mirror and right into the sun
I forgive myself for all of my mistakes
When will I learn, when will I, when will I burn

I want to drown, in a sea filled with Novocaine
I want to burn, on a beach where the sand
Is littered with razer blades

I gave up on myself a long time ago
To the black clouds I'm swallowed
And spit me out whole

Some times it feels like I'm losing my soul
At least that means
I still have a soul after all

If I fall or trip back into love
I’m gonna bring a ladder and gloves
So I can climb right back out
If there is ever even a shred of doubt
I’m gonna bring a flashlight too and
Leave a trail and stick to the plan
You can get real lost down there if you’re not sure
Of the foreign territory
There are times when the path gets blurry
And the wrong turn feels right

But who would want me anyway?
I’m a lush with broken parts of paper mache
I have nothing left to give
I don’t think I ever did

There are times when I wish that someone
Would help me find the person I was or give me
A detailed map of the streets
Spelling out the traffic pattern in beeps
I am finding safety in lines
They are painted so they can guide
Empty tanks and broken wheels take me home
Right now I find myself dangling
On the edge trying not to fall in
Back to where I came from

But who would want me anyway?
I’m a lush with broken parts of paper mache
I have nothing left to give
I don’t think I ever did

Because I dove in way too deep with rocks tied to me
I should have had a plan cause now these ropes won’t come free
I do not have faith
If I did then I would feel safe
I would wait here for fate but it’s conveniently late
The bottom is a place that I know too well

So who would want me anyway?
I’m a lush with broken parts and I’ll never change.
And I have nothing left to give
I don’t think I ever did
I wish that I could find the person that I was,
I always thought that I’d be happy if I was loved,
But I have nothing left to give.
I don’t think I ever did.

I just drove under the Lincoln sign
To where New Jersey meets the New York line
And through the tunnel for the last time
With everything crumbling behind
I stood still until I felt the shakes
Of two bodies that were parting ways
I didn’t want to be the one to say
I know this hurts but it’s time to break
In two pieces, the fault line is not secure
A boat or bridge is needed to get back to her

I feel like I am paralyzed
When I look at the extra space left in my bed
And think about all the things we did
At least I’m feeling more alive
But I still have some old weight that I’ve got to shed
Before I find happiness

I make mountains out of my worries
And I plant pain instead of sturdy trees
I have got to wash these old sheets
So I can fall asleep
There are times, there are times I reach for the phone
To tell you that there might still be some hope
Holding on to the slack of rope
But that’s the whiskey talking, so
I hope that you can find some peace in life
Can you survive without me?
‘Cause I thought I’d be fine.
Now I am slurring every single line.

I feel like I am paralyzed
When I look at the extra space left in my bed
And think about all the things we did
At least I’m feeling more alive
But I still have some old weight that I’ve got to shed
I’ve got to move on before I can find happiness

This isn’t fair, nobody taught me (how to let go)
“Just be here now” and you’ll be set free from sorrow?
But at this time, I don’t see clearly (How will I know?)
What is the point? What is the meaning?

Now I’m struggling, I black out so I can’t dream
But I still see you sneaking through my weary head
I summer from a drought of medicine to dull self-doubt
I just wanna drown you out with southern poison
If I had a drink for every Goddamn time I think
About your pale skin dressed in pink
Then at least I could sleep
If I had a shot for every Goddamn time I thought
About your face and what I lost
At least I’d get some sleep
Sleep, sleep, at least I’d get some sleep
Sleep, sleep, then at least I’d get some sleep…

I'm leaving home
Above the clouds with silver wings
I feel my guts slowly drop as engines sing
My teeth are clenched
'Cause gravity is defied
I'm at a place where I feel dead inside

I know I can take back what I never lend
'Cause all my plan is crushed in the end

Desperate
As I slip the screws out from the seat
I need a way to breathe
The wind
Takes the fusell lodge from the tail piece
I hope it sets me free

With my nose pressed up to the window pane
I lost the lights so now they dance in rain
I breathe out to make a canvis for your name
I can't realise my shoulders carry the blame

I know I can take back what I never lend
'Cause all my plan is crushed in the end

Desperate
As I slip the screws out from the seat
I need a way to breathe
The wind
Takes the fusell lodge from the tail piece
I hope it sets me free

I look below and way the rip
And now the bag is up, I'll be dropping wind

I'm diseased just like my father
He says it comes from my mother
I hope my son does not catch it

Look at what I have to do to survive
I hurt myself just to feel alive
I don't know if I'll make it back home
'Cause I don't know if there's no hope left there
Everyone's looking for someway
I am looking for the one way out
I've been wasting my time
Standing in line
And this is what life is all about

Desperate
As I slip the screws out from the seat
I need a way to breathe
The wind
Takes the fusell lodge from the tail piece
I hope it sets me free

I stand alone on the verge of twenty four
I come undone, I'm left at shore
Everyone I know has a casket made
To plot things down, their roads are paved

Do I still have time to make mistakes?
Is this the point, will I bend or break
Am I too far gone to medicate
Is this a birth or is this a wake?

There was a part of me,
That I lost when i was seventeen
I can't get back
The innocence I gave to scenes
In between Jersey plays
Was just an act

I would slit my throat and blind me through my life
Desperate I emerge with two black eyes
At the mouth of a river people shit,
With concrete shoes, ready to jump in

Do I still have time to chase my dreams?
Or did that pass, sail out and leave?
Is there still room for me to grow?
Or is this few all that I know?

There was a part of me,
That I lost when I was seventeen
I cant get back
The innocence I gave to scenes
In between Jersey plays
Was just an act

Sometimes I want, to just give in
Accept the answers without a question
Its easier, I must confess
To treat this life like its a waiting room for death

How can I make sense of this mess?
I'll share my emptiness, with a glass
It's my best bet for happiness

There was a part of me,
That I lost when I was seventeen
I cant get back
The innocence I gave to scenes
In between Jersey plays
Was just an act

There was a part of me,
That I lost when I was seventeen
I cant get back
The innocence I gave to scenes
In between Jersey plays
Was just an act

You made me hate what I loved
I hope that you're struggling
Don't throw down what you left
What you're slowly dying
And you're holding onto

I'm just glad to see
You're trying so hard
But failing
I'm the best thing
That you ever had
I'm what you want to be

Hate me
Hate me
If it helps you to move on
I'm still here
Wishing you the worst
Even though you're gone

I hope that you feel
The pain of burying
Everyone you ever loved
Fuck your words
Fuck you now, love
Trying hard to disguise
That you'll never realise
That's the color of blood
You are filled with inside

You dragged me through hell and back
To prove you were tall
You wanted the shoes I wore
That you think were too small

Hate me
Hate me
If it helps you to move on
I'm still here
Wishing you the worst
Even though you're gone

Hate!
Me!
Hate!
Me!
Hate!
Me!
If it helps you to move on!