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1997 |
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I wonder if you can see
I wonder if you can tell
I wonder if you see through
The mask I wear so well for you
I'll never let you know what's going on inside me
My shame, locks me down
All the things I wanted to tell you
All the things I never will
Everytime you reached out to me
All I did was push you away
I cant unchain the beast that screams inside me
I hate it, it's what I am
It makes me sick to be so mean
From where I've been and what I've seen
From top to bottom, I am obsene
It stands in my place
It spits in my face
Shame
You smile at me, I smile back
You ask me how I am
I tell you that I'm fine
I don't why I'm so torn up inside my mind
The darkness, it swallows me whole
It makes me sick to be so mean
From what I've been and what I've seen
From top to bottom, I am obsene
It stands in my place
It spits in my face
It's shame, shame!
It's shame!
It makes that old lie
It makes that old lie
It makes me look at myself and say
"Man, you're doing just fine.
You're doing great."
I'm not living in a lie
I'm not living in a lie
Or am I ??
It makes me sick to be so mean
From what I've been and what I've seen
From top to bottom, I am obsene
It stands in my place
It spits in my face!
Shame....
Don't go too deep
Don't ask me why
Don't try to know me
Don't make me lie
I wish I didn't know the things I do so well
I try to change
But it's what I am
It makes me sick to be so mean
From what I've been and what I've seen
From top to bottom, I am obsene
It stands in my place
It spits in my face!
It's shame, shame!
It's shame, shame...
I'm not living in a lie, am I?
I'm not living in a lie, am I?
Naw.....
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I stay out late
I go long
I lose sleep
I go without
I go long
I go all night
I go all night
I make the colors go
I push my senses out
I push my senses out
I keep my existence lean
I STARVE! Starve!
I make the colors go
I STARVE! Starve!
I make the colors go
Here I am and keep
My mind is low to the ground
And in my mind real time is mine, and know what I know
I step up and get none
I step up and get none
I take less and less and less and less... and none
I STARVE! Starve!
I make the colors go
I STARVE! Starve!
I make the colors go
At the back of my mind I hear the engines whine
At the back of my mind I hear the engines whine
I go all night, go all night
I make my blood scream
I kiss my fear on the mouth
I kiss my fear on the mouth
I make my blood burn
I STARVE! Starve!
I make the colors go
I STARVE! Starve!
I make my blood scream
I make the blood burn
When I step up, I go up all the way
And when step off, I get off all the way
When I turn my back and walk away I never come back
I go without, I feel the cold
But I never come back, I go long
I'm gone....
I STARVE! Starve!
I make the colors go
I STARVE! Starve!
I make my blood scream
I make the blood burn
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When I close my eyes all I see are visions of you
And then I open my eyes, your asumth holds me down
I try but I can't shake myself loose
I can't command my brain
All I do is shrink and think of one thing
I'm sitting alone beside me
I'm digging a hole inside myself
All I want in the world I think I've found
When I look into your eyes
All I know is that I'm tired of the world around me
Please, please
Please, don't ignore me...
Dedicated, here I am
Thinking of you with everything within me
I know you'll never feel me, never see me
Never know these thoughts of mine
But in my mind you're always there
Always smiling, always reaching out for me
The days don't warm with heartache
The days don't warm with emptiness
What I want is to somehow matter to you
Even if all else rejects me
All I know is that I'm hammered of the world around me
Please, please
Please, don't destroy me...
All I want in the world I think I've found
When I look into your eyes
All I know is that I'm tired of the world around me
Please, please
Please, don't ignore me...
I'd burn down time, modify a way to get through to you
I know I'm standing in line for handouts that'll never come
But still, I don't care!
Feeling like, looking like
They've confused everything
Pure is everything I am
Made out, wide eyed, exposed
Unable to forget you!
All I want is to somehow matter to you
Even all else rejects me
All I know is that I'm hammered of the world around me
Please, please
Please, don't destroy me...
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I don't step on roaches when they crawl across my floor
And if I saw your body burning in the street, I'd put you out
With gasoline
And when the garbage piles up past my knees, and the rats are running free
I'll say we're even
And you'll know that it's the end of something
Touch your fear, don't be afraid
Touch your fear, don't be afraid
Don't be afraid, don't be afraid, don't be afraid, don't be afraid
It's the end of something
The tears from your eyes that you cried have dried
And theres nothing left to say
And when you see that the time we spent together meant nothing
And you couldn't make me stay
Remember me, and my eyes, and how they saw you
Remember me, and my voice, and what I said
It's over, and now there's nothing
Oh it's the end, the end of something
Touch your fear, don't be afraid
Touch your fear, don't be afraid
Don't be afraid, don't be afraid, don't be afraid, don't be afraid
It's just the end of something
It's so cold
It's the end, it's the end
It's so cold
The laughter has died away, and now I see
The joke was on me
The cold winds are blowing through my clothes
And I've got no one, nothing, nowhere to go
My flesh is pulling tight against my bones
And I'm thinking "Man, you'd be better off stoned"
But I know, yes I know, oh I know
This is the end of something
Touch your fear, don't be afraid
Touch your fear, don't be afraid
Touch your fear, touch your fear, touch your fear, touch your fear
It's just the end of something
It's so cold
It's the end of something
Don't be afraid, don't be afraid, don't be afraid to touch your fear
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On my way to the cage
I'm getting taught a lesson
On my way to the cage
I'm choking on the medicine
On my way to the cage
I'm stepping hard on four-leaf clovers
On my way to the cage
I'm learning the same thing over and over
On my way to the cage
The taste of blood is in my mouth
On my way to the cage
My fear is in their eyes
On my way to the cage
My animal blood is pure
On my way to the cage
No regrets and no last words
On my way to the cage
I heard the crowd roar
Thoughts of you were long behind me
I couldn't ask for more
The lights are almost blinding
Come closer, tears open my eyes
And fear me, and fear me
Your soul is on a leash
Your mind is on a string
Your world's inside my fist
You push yourself above me
But there's something you have missed
You always say you hate me
But you watch me anyway
It's a pain you can't resist
On my way to the cage
I'm larger than life and laughing at death
On my way to the cage
I'm sipping on pain and feeling fine
On my way to the cage
You're paying your price and I'm paying mine
On my way to the cage
I'm watching you cry and wave goodbye
On my way to the cage
I heard the crowd roar
Thoughts of you were long behind me
I couldn't ask for more
The lights are almost blinding
Come closer, tears open my eyes
And fear me, and fear me
Your soul is on a leash
Your mind is on a string
Your world's inside my fist
You push yourself above me
There's something you have missed
You'll always say you hate me
But you'll watch me anyway
You can't resist
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Please let me see the false that my ego denies me
Don't let me grow so tall that I forget the ground beneath me
Don't let me forget that satisfaction has no friends
That glory's only fading, already gone
I've wasted so much time
I've wasted so much time
I'm trying to get it straight
I'm trying to get it straight
I'm trying to keep it straight in my mind
Don't let me think it's love, when it's only just obsession
I've spent so many nights punching that wall
Show me the difference between decision and denial
I want to know why I ask why
I'm trying to get it straight
I'm trying to get it straight
I'm trying to get it straight in my mind
I'm trying to keep myself in check
I'm trying to keep myself in check
So tired of regret
Let me see my confusion for exactly what it is
Don't let me make my rage a tool of regret
Allow me to sidestep my frustration and hostility
And the violence that comes to me so easily
Too easily
I've wasted so much time
I've wasted so much time
I'm trying to get it straight
I'm trying to get it straight
I'm trying to get it straight in my mind
I'm trying to keep myself together
Struggling, struggling, struggling
Winning and losing, yeah!
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I try not to let it get above me
Don't make me
Don't hurt me
Don't push me
Don't confront me
I try to separate real from unreal
Don't make me have to open my eyes
Don't make me have to feel
Crime lights burning like a halo
Sidewalk under my feet
Passing trees below
I keep walking with nothing in my head
Where am I going? Where am I going? Where am I going? Where am I going?
Some nights I walk mile after mile after mile
I need you, I need you
I want to smile at your smile
Are you out there somewhere, waiting, looking for me?
I'm falling fast, falling, falling broken, reach out and catch me
And this city's in my blood like a curse
And the people and the noise only make it worse
And I can't tell you why there's no place I'd rather be
Where am I going? Where am I going? Where am I going? Where am I going?
This city's outside my head
Well, this city's outside my head
Well, this city's outside my head
Dirty gray city dropping rain down in my dreams
Noone knows me, noone knows me, noone knows me, noone knows me...
So when you see me, just walk on by
I'm caving in and I don't know why
There's gotta be more than this, but I just can't find it
I'm wandering in a city, unknown to myself
A stranger to everyone I meet
I'm wasted on insomnia, paranoid to the hilt
Where am I going? Where am I going? Where am I going? Where am I going?
Well, this city's outside my head
Well, this city's outside my head
Well, this city's outside my head
Where am I going??
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I want to touch your neon chemical
I want to make you need like an animal
The way you rip my head off, you're my main incinerator
Kick the door down when you come, tear the roof off when you leave, yeah..
The scene should be flashing as you rip in
Slip into something dangerous as something I can fear
Lie and say you want me, lie and say you will
Tell me all the stories, how you love and how you kill, yeah..
Love me as you kill me
I want to feel destruction
I want to see extintion
Will you smile when our sheets get soaked in blood when the saints come crashing in?
Could you do some damage to the shape I'm in?
Ruin this ruin, and go to the end, yeah..
Love me as you kill me
I want to see destruction
I want to feel extintion
Without you life is nothing
Without you life is mortal time
Without you I'm just standing here
Without you I'm just waiting to be alive!
Please, leave your mark on me, make an impression
Don't warn me before you cut..
..the moon reflects off your tools, love me long
Don't slay me, don't spit on my blood after I'm gone, yeah..
Love me as you kill me
I want to see destruction
I want to feel extintion
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Oh man, I can't believe the things I've said to you
Hey, I must have been out of my mind
Desperation crept in, from all the things I've kept in, I'm sorry
I just couldn't help myself
I can tell by the look in your eyes that you think I'm a fool
So right, too late to turn back now
I'm throwing these lines out, I'm throwing my line out
Open your bed and drag me in with you
I go so low, and then I see
It's when I hit the bottom, I know for sure
It get's pathetic when you're lonely, you will do anything
I can't believe what I've become, the things I say and do
Loneliness will make you throw your sense away
Here I am, trying to get through
Here I am, feeling so small, I'm running my mouth at you
I'm feeling sleek like a stranger, I'm here but I know that I'm outta there
As close as I get is so far away
Am I coming off as crazy, my lack of pretense too intense?
Am I telling you more than you want to know?
I go so low, and then I see
It's when I hit the bottom, I know for sure
It get's pathetic when you're lonely, you will do anything
I mean anything!
I go so low, and then I see
It's when I hit the bottom, I know for sure
It get's pathetic when you're lonely, you will do anything
I mean anything!
Oh man, I can't believe the things I've said to you
Hey, I must have been out of my mind, yeah!
Playing it hard on a Saturday night
I am walking down long dark streets
I am looking through the windows at good time shows
My loneliness, how it hurts, and how it shows
How it shows
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Inhale resolve, Exhale ambition
Inhale all I need, Exhale all I want
Inhale love of life, Exhale fear of death
Inhale power, Exhale force
I have all I need
I can live without
I have what I need
I can live without
Inhale tolerance, Exhale judgement
Inhale what I am, Exhale what I think I am
I have all I need
I can live without
I have all I need
I can live without
Don't hold me down
Don't hold me down
Don't hole me down
Inhale fact, Exhale assumption
Inhale what I want to be, Exhale what I want to be seen
Don't hold me down
Don't hold me down
Don't hole me down
I have all I need
I can live without
I have what I need
I can live without
I have all I need
I can live without
I have all I need
I can live without
I can live without
I can live without
I can live without
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Here it is, on the news
Someone I know is now someone I knew
I can't believe it happened again
Another mound, another one down
Hounded by a lie into the ground
Madness just has got no place to go
So sick of saying goodbye again
So sick of saying goodbye again
So sick of saying goodbye again
Rebel in the dirt, what was it worth?
I'm left with grief and so much hurt
So much lost, and so much pain
So much sorrow and so much strain
So much anger and so much rage
No the sadness never fades
You're gone, I'm left to move on
Seems like I'm saying goodbye again
Seems like I'm saying goodbye again
Seems like I'm saying goodbye again
Seems like I'm saying goodbye!
So young, too late; so sad, goodbye..
So young, too late; so sad, goodbye..
So young, too late; so sad, goodbye..
So young, too late; so sad, goodbye..
Just last week I saw you hanging out
Who would have known you had two days to live?
I left town and heard that you did too
The difference is I can come back, I can come back!!
So sick of saying goodbye again
So sick of saying goodbye again
So sick of saying goodbye again
So sick of saying goodbye!
So young, too late; so sad, goodbye..
So young, too late; so sad, goodbye..
So young, too late; so sad, goodbye..
Goodbye..
Goodbye..
Goodbye....
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I had it wrong for so long in my head
I was walking around like I was dead
And all the time my mind was stuck on you
And I clawed, while you stalled
I was a fool to think we were involved
I guess I needed to believe it, so bad
Rejection never felt this good
Everything unclear, now so well understood
At first I didn't see it as kind
But you did me a favor when you left me behind
You might not believe it was true
It's all those things you never said that told me all about you
It's the things you try to conceal that get revealed
And I had to get it wrong before I had got it right
And I'm not the kind to argue, I'm not the kind to fight
By the time I'd reached the truth I'd reached the end
Rejection never felt this good
Everything unclear, now so well understood
At first I didn't see it as kind
But you did me a favor when you left me behind
Now I'm alone, and I'm burning
I am hurting like hell but I am learning
The scars will take me far like they always do
And I believe I'm alright
I do believe I am alright
Rejection never felt this good
Everything unclear, now so well understood
At first I didn't see it as kind
But you did me a favor when you left me behind
'Cause now I see how you are
Now I see how you are
Now I see how it is
And now I see what you do
And I watch them line up
I watch them fall down
One after one
One after one
I watch your smile grow and grow and grow
I think to myself, it couldn't be me!
No way!!
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