 Well I got home and the door was locked,
So I tried to ring the bell
I found a little bitty note that she had wrote telling me to go to hell
I crawled in the window, I got inside
She kicked me in the balls and then i cried
called me a name, said I lied, kicked me again and I thought I'd died
Took my clothes, set 'em on fire
hit me with her curling iron
I tried to block it with my watch, then she kicked me crotch again
Today's the day my wife met my girlfriend
Well I tried to tell her but she didn't care
Things weren't what they seemed
She had a pan on the stove full of boiling water and my nads would soon be steamed
I tried to run, scream for help
She hit me in the nerts with a reinstone belt
It was like nothin that I ever felt
I thank God I wasn't wearing a kilt
She grabbed a bad from beneath the bed
Swung it once, missed my head
She reared back, swung it it again
Then she hit me in the twins again
Today's the day my wife met my girlfriend
Yeah today's that awful day
'ey my boys won't be the same
Yeah today's the day my wife met my girlfriend
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