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Orphanage




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Альбом Orphanage



1996
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... the lavas that restlessly roll
Their sulphurous currents down Yaanek
In the ultimate climes of the pole
That groan as they roll down Mount Yaanek
In the realms of the boreal pole ...
it's been not so long I accidently sold
my former frame of reference to the cold
thinking back, remembering, my tale seems so unreal
I'm closed up but the time has come to reveal

anxious, also ignorant, my investigative mind
and led me there and led me to be so blind
haunted are the mountains, I plead for your restraint
or hope for men's survival will be faint

all my days are nightmares and memories haunt my brain
my former mind of knowledge has gone insane

you'll never hear this twice 'cause
once I had seen
the sheen that filled the sky
soon I'd die
the mounts drew the bounds
and I climbed one step too high
soon I'd die

the cold that had enwrapped my heart is bound to freeze my eyes
the truth that seemed on our side
had covered all with lies
take off my hands, take off my feet
take off my ears, rip out my tongue
but don't hurt my mind, don't hurt my sense
don't hurt my intellectual powers

what is frozen you don't feel
what hurts is what you lose
but at this moment I gave up
the ice had blown my fuse
made out of cold, made out of fear
God's will attracts, God's will is here

all had begun, when led by fear, right at the end of the world
high in the sky, here at the end of the world

. . .


evil roams the land of my dreams
onslaught is the onset of coma
ancients chase the crystals of black
magic is the secret I keep
searching in the land of my dreams
gazing in the eyes of my dying conciousness
I have to grasp the last stone
failing means I will never awake

slowly I drown in my sleep
hoping my brain will awake
my last crystal will fall in their hands
leaving me to die alone in my sleep
ride!

I hear hooves pounding
I see his mask, it's black !
I try escaping but I can't move
I'm doomed
sword !
flesh !
blood !
kill !
die !

sun will rise for you again now ...

. . .


suffer with me
or you will see the end of time
the figure you are dreaming of
the shapes of those are mine
come in my mind
coming with the tides
are roaring waves of doom
darkness we'll find, soon
if you listen to my cries then you won't miss
the prophecies I tell to everyone of you

I see you're frail, never have I seen my inner self so black
every twig I try to grab
is si fearfull it will crack
my lungs are screaming
because my heart is too shy to explain
you're born to fail
never will I find the rest
untill I'm lost and gone
and my blood poors down the drain

from beneath the earth I rumble and I bait
I've resigned myself without resistance to my fate
I drag you down
now I'm dead and what I did was useless to you all
you're down with me
the only thing I still maintain is making you even worse than me
and dragging you down within my fall

cry for me and for the world
because where I look it is black I find
cry for me because I have unfurled
I have found
the dark side of my mind

. . .


your spirit turns black
as sympathy of life declines
only selfish ways reign
in your sickened mind
your tears have dried
and floods of deceit are unleashed
upon all humanity

heed me from you, deceiver, make believer

you shattered my dreams in two
all trust lost in dust
I sweep and in agony I bleed
your honesty repressed by hypocrisy
mental thief, turning my life into disease

no paradise, in hell you'll see
internally I'm screaming
my fear of dying's dying
as compassion decays
tell right from wrong
words nothing more than vicious lies, betrayal
too late, I'm pissed off with violent rage
we call him traitor
...bastard!

Hate and fear united
won't turn into tranquillity
no sympathy for God or Christ
reality? It's all fantasy
life's washing away
forever caressing the bitterness
I'm roaming forever through my anger

. . .


Once there was a time
When no man had ever touched the earth
All that has been built was balanced
And so was man's birth

Come with me
And you'll see

You've been put here for a reason
Use your powers well
Keep respect for all
Because on my surface you will dwell

When the morning comes
We find our way in life
Her powers make the trees look green
The sun will laugh to flowers in the sand
I came through
Another night...

Your disgrace for me
Has brought up shame on my behalf
What we've seen so far
Feels like you're tearing up my scars

On my recall
I've shown you all
You careless fools
I make the rules

The sun will laugh to flowers in the sand
I came through
Another night...

. . .


I prepared you with all I know
as I taught to you I watched you grow
changes in the heart and in soul
no one ever has got the strenght for that goal
you see...

time will tell it's tale to us all
the part that we play
will be told by time alone
and so we realize
our story will be told by time alone

those who see the shades understand
they're the ones who's fear won't get out of hand
when one relies too much on his hope
he won't search the area beyond his scope

follow the line
which one is mine?
I've seen things clear
no I won't fear

time...

. . .


Ancient rhymes infest my brain I go insane
Old spells are cast ancient rhymes unleash the pastî
(Charles Dexter Ward)

Thragta I memoria, ersensa nova nom
A ritmica ghidana, yog sodomae sabadomî

Ancient rhymes I hear pounding in my ears

In vigatha worthanathas, ghafili commosthiî

Walls are trembling, fog is thickening
Dust regains it's life, fear grows in my mind

Who recalls me from the grace?
Once again I'm king of all, bow and obey? î

Vocum envocathae, confilae maghaesthiî

Walls are trembling, fog is thickening, ancient rhymes I hear
Voices, I don't know from whom, are pounding in my ears
Resting I won't do again now ancient rhymes I hear
The knowledge that it came to life still
Chills my blood in fear

. . .


Ët was pulled away by force
When I began this quest
They took away the spark
My future, life of bliss
Face of blood they left me
Near death but full of hate
To leave without a trace
And take away my mate

Journey of my major decline
Minor of joy tears to dry

I seem to fly
Drifting through space and time
Flying to my destiniy
I can't seem to find
Anyone who's in my way
Will know the price to pay
I'm numb but don't count me out
My odyssey will end one day

The quest has made me tough
Entombed in solitude
I reached my goal and thus
A better man saved you
It was a conspiracy!

. . .


rex tremendae maiestatis
qui salvandos salvas gratis
salva me fons pietatis... amen

the trumpet scattering it's awful sound
across the graves of all lands
summons all before the throne
death and nature shall be stunned

when mankind arises
to render acount before the judge
the written book shall be bought
in which all is constained

from the depths of hell
and the bottomless pit
deliver us from the jaws of the lion
lest hell engulfs them

confutatis maledictis
flammis acribus addictis
voca me cum benedictis... amen
oro supplex et acclinis
cor contritum quasi cinis
gere curam mei finis... amen... requiem

. . .


in my roots underground, bits of grief still remain
lingering memories, replacing joy by pain
in my roots underneath my silent cries grind and burn
shaping my own defeat to the point of no return

you are leaving me to cope with my scars
ignoring me for what? I don't know
former joy burnt down and decayed,
all that might have been turned to hate
dew washed away by the rain, acid bitterness eats me
it burns a hole in my crust,
seedlings of our trust won't grow no more

leafless you left me as leaves fell down to earth

naked I became when you left,
lonely is the woods of my trunc
where in the whirl of your thoughts was the reason anyway?
Seasons nature's cure for my shame,
in time my branches will grow again
spring, winter's foe has arrived,
blooming I once did... and will do again...

what did I do wrong to lose your trust?
the tree that's me was shook
you turned your back and left,
can't you see I was afraid of you
and of that higher tree that took the sun away
it all happened much too fast for me
and what you didn't know:
your tears were acid rain browning my green

. . .


[Dedicated to Opa van der Aa]

remembering the day we took eachother's hand
but in our minds we knew we would lose a friend
out here we think, we gaze and look above
every star for everyone we've loved

I don't hear and I don't see but
as my guardian he is here with me...

we are what you'll lose
deliverance is what you will gain
nothing else to choose
but deliverance from the pain

my feelings are mixed, like living apart together
but in my sleep I know he's with me forever
this time it's him who's says that it's OK
helping me to get over the previous day

lacrimosa, dies illa

in heaven reunion will take place
so take my hand have no fear

lacrimosa, dies illa

through my laughs and through my tears
I'm overwhelmed by memories
not in one day nor in years
we will forget you've disappeared

. . .


It's the crumbling of my denial

What are you, where do you come from?
Your appearance hits me like a bomb
The words I say seem to stammer my mind
All you do makes my spirit wind

Screaming out, see my rage
Feel my flesh, thickened by my age
Hear the tone of my call
It's the crumbling of my denial

From your head to your feet it's all fine
And your eyes shiver down my spine
Make my day, make my life worthwile
You must teach me again how to smile
How to cry, how to feel what's inside
And to know that I'm dignified
I want love but I do want pain
Come to me 'cause I am insane

Screaming out, see my rage
Feel my flesh, thickened by my age
Hear the tone of my call
It's the crumbling of my denial

You will be mine!

I take the step now
We know what to do
You understand my call
It's the crumbling of my denial

No one sees how we play this game
Slowly we fan each other's flame
We want love and we sooth our pain
We feel fine 'cause we are insane

Screaming out, see my rage
Feel my flesh, thickened by my age
Hear the tone of my call
It's the crumbling of my denial

Screaming out, see my rage
Feel my flesh, thickened by my age
Hear the tone of my call
It's the crumbling of my denial

. . .


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