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1997 |
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Don't make a fuss, don't make a sound
I don't want this song to get shot to the ground
You're on the phone, I'm all alone
And my heart feels about 70 pounds
Tell the waiter that you're done
And you'd like it in a box to go
I don't think that there's a box big enough to put it in
And when you come home late at night
And your conscience carries an appetite
take a fork and tear it apart
come on baby eat my heart
stepping on pedals and breaking strings
these are all a few of my favorite things
but you don't approve so I think I'm gonna move
And I'll have my ass out of the house by spring
tell your mamma that I tried
but I cannot carry both of the loads
I don't think that there is a a box big enough to put them in
And when you come home late at night
And your conscience carries an appetite
My whole world is falling apart
Wash your hands before you start
Come on baby eat my heart
What can I do
1st I think, the I lose
Did your parents ever tell you that you were no good at all
What's a guy to do, scrape this mud off my shoe
My whole world is falling apart
Wash your hands before you start
Take a fork and tear it apart
Come on baby eat my heart
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Go home and take off all your make up
Don't say a word about the break up
And as you're biting off your toenails
Make sure to scream that you're the only one
Who's ever fallen victim to a stand up prom dance
And slung 50 meters from a go-cart romance
You're not the only one
Look around
Wear your frown
It keeps you down, but baby, what do you know?
The only coolness is your new car
But does it make you wanna drive far
Better watch it, lights are turning red, up ahead
Slam on the breaks, and this is probably what will happen
Well your heart will stay protected cuz you put it in a safety belt
But your common sense went flying through the wind shield
You're not the only one
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Well I heard it all before
But this deserves an explanation
From the underwear on the floor
Please excuse the exclamation
Shit, I thought for a certain that I'd make it through the season
But your skills at love, they sure do suck
So don't give me a better reason
And it's a sad sad situation
That love created jealousy
It's the last sleep you'll get tonight
It's the last fight you'll have to fight
It's the last time I'll be coming around
And I know you know it's true
Everything's on 1 condition
And tell me where the hell you were you
When I came down to the station?
Well I keep a box of sticks and stones in the back seat of my car
Just in case I see your face with another face for you to scar
Don't call
Don't write
You know you've lost it when you still keep trying
But I can't spit back in your face
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Get off my heart
Cuz you've been standing on it all day
Can my lips part
With the words that I want to say
And as I run into the walls cuz I don't have the balls to run over him
You just sit in the dark there alone where he parks there, resisting sin
And when the angels start to sing
And when my ears beginning to ring
I think I'm crazy cuz I sing
For the rich girl
Where do I start
Please pull the splinters from my knees
I tried so hard
To get you to be seen with me
And does the leopard print book full of phone numbers look like a cover up
Cuz I got too much pride to let this one slide
And to try and go and fuck this up
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Walk through the Highlands with a pitbull terrier
Inhaling coffee with a 40 dollar pedicure
Outside I swear I smell a crazy couture line of clothes
With all these mirrors God I feel so vain I have to pose
The smell, Chanel, it touched my nose and then I hit the floor
She said I only got this jacket in a 44
I can't afford to buy it anyway but that's okay
Just let me know your schedule, I'll check back here everyday
(And I'm)
For the girl behind the counter, and I'm the guy behind the guy
I'm the king of all composure before the retail girl, the retail girl passes by
She saw me with another girl the other day
I saw her with another girl, but that's okay
It's all crazy like that
And when she passes by she makes me feel so all alone
She makes me cry cuz she doesn't work the days I'm home
She makes me buy the things that don't even fit me
She makes me wonder why I never wear enough cologne
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Walk to the corner, just another funny feeling
Sure enough, you were standin like a civil war statue
It's a steak through the heart without a steak on my plate
Left just spinning round in circles, darling is there nothing left for me now
You're wasting your time
I'm nothing like you, you're nothing like me, don't get me wrong
Don't waste your time, I'm not your type
By next sunday morning I was feeling just fine
Do you recall me asking if you wanted pizza and wine?
You said, "eating's not my thing, and the wine just makes me dizzy."
I know there's other victims will you please just tell me who he is now
What part of all this don't you understand
If the devil believed in persistence, you'd be put up on the stand
As Elvis as my witness, I'm the King of Never Knowing What I Want
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You make me crazy, although I'm sane
You keep the top down in the rain
But I do like where you're going
And I love it when you say
That you wouldn't have it any other way
You make me nervous, but I can't fake it baby
Shoot up my lips with novocaine
Cuz I like to be this tempted
And especially when you say
That you wouldn't want it any other way
And I just about cried when I pictured the scenario
Of you screaming out could you please turn up the radio
This is my favorite part of the ride
Watching our cars collide
You never told me, about this table baby
That you reserved on 2nd Street
But I like Italian coffee
And I love it when you say
That you wouldn't drink it any other way
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My sprained ankle is sore from walking on it all day
Trying to walk off the valium that I had to take
Cuz I'm a hundred pound mess, and I guess that I should leave you alone
I walk into the place that gave me horrible gas
They said you moved to New York to teach a cooking class
But I know that's just a cover up, cuz I still follow you home
(chorus)
Well I'm beginning to feel just like another spinning wheel
And my shield is finally growing thin
And I guess I should find another favorite place to dine
Or I'm gonna have to see you again
Don't leave the light on for me
You'll just be wasting sleep tonight
It took me 6 whole years to work off all of the weight
That I had up on my shoulders trying to be so great
Now I feel so insecure and I'm not so really sure that I should
So here's the 100 thousand dollars and the 70 cents
That should buy back all the love and all the time that you spent
Trying to make this all work, you know I feel like a jerk but it's good
(chorus)
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She's got a beer bottle cap in her back pocket
She laughs at Metallica and loves bottle rockets
She got chicken wire tattooed around her arm
She gave me a pecan for a good luck charm
Isn't every girl like that
She's got a wallet with a chain that says bad motherfucker
She makes me feel a lot slower than an all day sucker
She's a 1st class thespian that gets a bit dramatic
She's a stick shift relationship converted automatic
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The clock is tick tick ticking away
She got a new pair of shades that she bought when she went shopping
Only 27 hours away
From skipping rope on a star, she's drinking gin with Janis Joplin
The earth is just starting to bore me
and all the people out there just adore me yeah
I wanna go to the sun (somebody take me there)
That's where the living is fun (and I won't get no evil stares)
I wanna go to the sun (somebody take me there)
She stole a class cutting pass today
And she can fake a teacher's signature like nobody can
I bet you'll never guess what she's gonna say
That I'm the captain of the rocket and you're the 2nd in command
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Well she's standing on the corner with a crooked runny nose
Smiling bout the good sex she had
But the smiling goes away cuz she won't see him today
Cuz he'll be hangin' with a stripper girlfriend
And there's a reason for your shaky hands
The ditching of the one night stands
You put your single friends up on the shelf
You get jealous when he's having fun
You know your not the only one
You gotta have him all to yourself
This is what it's like, this is what it's like, this is what it's like she said
This is what it's like, this is what it's like, in the beginning of relationships
You start freaking out because he hasn't called you when he said he would so smoke and drink and cuss at the floor
About the time you reach hysterics, you call up his sister Erica
And ask her if he likes you anymore
Now your stomach's like a gravel pit, you don't think you can handle it
You think of how you're gonna break the news
When he finally calls, you give in, and you realize you're living in
A battle that you're probably gonna lose
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I was the kind of kid back in school
Who wore a members only jacket, thought he was kool
That's when I met katrina, she was best friends with seshel
I thought she was the one, yeah I thought she was special
I saw her in the hall about quarter til three
I said I'll take you in my nova, to the tasty freeze
She said I know all about you, more than I should
I know all about the dirty mags you keep in the woods
(chorus)
So tell me how I'm supposed to be when I've been stalked by a lesbian
I can't sleep a wink, and I'm married to the ephedrine
How am I supposed to sleep when I've been stalked by a lesbian now
Now don't take it light, it might seem funny to you
Yesterday my science project, was covered in glue
So I asked that guy seshel, was it something I said
He said quit being so fuckin' paranoid, it's all in your head
The way she's looking at me, I think she wants me to be,
The guy that always gets shot in every movie you see
Oh god she's walking this way, oh god what should I say,
I hope and pray that one day she'll be straight
(chorus)
So I was at a bar the other night and I looked across the room and there's this girl and she walks up to me and she's beautiful and she says 'Hey, I'm Katrina, dude, remember me?' and I freaked I said 'Oh my god I thought you looked familiar' about this time this 400 fucking pound woman walks up with Katrina's face tattooed on the side of her neck, she comes waddling and says 'DON'T FUCK WITH MY GIRL' I looked at Jabba straight in the fucking eye and say 'Don't worry every time I picture Katrina's face it's gonna be on the side of your gross, fat-assed, 3 chinned neck' she says 'Are you stupid?' I say 'No I'm just sober!'**
(chorus)
And she beat the shit out of him
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