Альбом Emilie Autumn

4 o'clock
4 o'clock
Never let me sleep
I close my eyes and pray
For the garish light of day
Like a frightened child I run
From the sleep that never comes

4 o'clock
4 o'clock
Out of bed I creep
To climb this tower of shame
But the hour's still the same
Only madness knows my name
At 4 o'clock

4 o'clock
4 o'clock
Never let me sleep
I close my eyes and pray
For the garish light of day
Like a frightened child I run
From the sleep that never comes

4 o'clock
4 o'clock
Out of bed I creep
To climb this tower of shame
But the hour's still the same
Only madness knows my name
At 4 o'clock

Why can we never go back to bed?
Whose is the voice ringing in my head?
Where is the sense in these desperate dreams?
Why should I wake when I'm half past dead?

Sure as the clock keeps its steady chime
Weak as I walk to its steady rhyme
Ticking away from the ones we love
So many girls, so little time

Why can we never go back to bed?
Whose is the voice ringing in my head?
Where is the sense in these desperate dreams?
Why should I wake when I'm half past dead?

4 o'clock
4 o'clock
Never let me sleep
I close my eyes and pray
For the garish light of day
Like a frightened child I run
From the sleep that never comes

4 o'clock
4 o'clock
Out of bed I creep
To climb this tower of shame
But the hour's still the same
Only slumber never came
Only madness knows my name
At 4 o'clock

Why can we never go back to bed?
Whose is the voice ringing in my head?
Where is the sense in these desperate dreams?
Why should I wake when I'm half past dead?

Sure as the clock keeps its steady chime
Weak as I walk to its steady rhyme
Ticking away from the ones we love
So many girls, so little time

Why can we never go back to bed?

It's a sunny day in heaven
And no one is around
To open the gates
And I'm waiting for you
My fairweather friend
Absent in the end
Absent in the end
The one thing I can count on
Is nothing much at all
The one thing that I'm sure about
Is that you won't be anywhere around me when I fall
I'd like to think I wouldn't die for you, but you know I would
'Cause that's the fool I am
And that's the rule you bend
Absent in the end
My fairweather friend

The one thing I can count on
Is nothing much at all
The one thing that I'm sure about
Is that you won't be anywhere around me when I fall
I'd like to think I wouldn't die for you, but you know I would
'Cause that's the fool I am
And that's the rule you bend
Absent in the end
My fairweather friend

My fairweather friend

It's a sunny day in heaven

It's a sunny day in heaven
And no one is around
To open the gates
And I'm waiting for you
My fairweather friend
Absent in the end
Absent in the end
The one thing I can count on
Is nothing much at all
The one thing that I'm sure about
Is that you won't be anywhere around me when I fall
I'd like to think I wouldn't die for you, but you know I would
'Cause that's the fool I am
And that's the rule you bend
Absent in the end
Love you only bend
Wounds you'll never mend
My fairweather friend

My fairweather friend

How old are you?
I'm older than you'll ever be
I've been dead a thousand years
And lived only two or three
I don't mind telling you
My life was ended by your hand
The kind of murder where nobody dies
But I don't suppose you'd understand
Call off the search
We've found her

If I am Lolita
Then you are a criminal
And you should be killed
By an army of little girls
The law won't arrest you
The world won't detest you
You never did anything
Any man wouldn't do
I'm Gothic Lolita
And you are a criminal
I'm not even legal
I'm just a dead little girl
But ruffles and laces
And candy sweet faces
Directed your furtive hand
I perfectly understand
So it's my fault?
No, Gothic Lolita

Thank you, kind sirs
You've made me what I am today
A bundle of broken nerves
A mouthful of words I'm still afraid to say
I don't mind telling you
Now that I'm old enough to love
I couldn't begin to even if
My pretty life depended on it
And funny thing, it does
Call off the search
We've found her

If I am Lolita
Then you are a criminal
And you should be killed
By an army of little girls
The law won't arrest you
The world won't detest you
You never did anything
Any man wouldn't do
I'm Gothic Lolita
And you are a criminal
I'm not even legal
I'm just a dead little girl
But ruffles and laces
And candy sweet faces
Directed your furtive hand
I perfectly understand
So it's my fault?
No, Gothic Lolita

I am your sugar
I am your cream
I am your anti-American dream

I am your sugar
I am your cream
I am your worst nightmare
Now scream

If I am Lolita
Then you are a criminal
And you should be killed
By an army of little girls
The law won't arrest you
The world won't detest you
You never did anything
Any man wouldn't do
I'm Gothic Lolita
And you are a criminal
I'm not even legal
I'm just a dead little girl
But ruffles and laces
And candy sweet faces
Directed your furtive hand
I perfectly understand
So it's my fault?
No, Gothic Lolita

I will swallow
If it will help my sea level go down
But I'll come back to haunt you if I drown
I will swallow
If it will help my sea level go down
But I'll come back to haunt you if I drown

I will swallow
I will

I'll tell the truth: all of my songs
Are pretty much the fucking same
I'm not a faerie but I need
More than this life so I became
This creature representing more to you
Than just another girl
And if I had a chance to change my mind
I wouldn't for the world
Twenty years
Sinking slowly

Can I trust you
But I don't want to

I will swallow
If it will help my sea level go down
But I'll come back to haunt you if I drown
I will swallow
If it will help my sea level go down
I'll take a deep deep breath
But I'll come back to haunt you if I drown

I don't want to be a legend
Oh well that's a god damned lie - I do
To say I do this for the people
I admit is hardly true
You tell me every thing's all right
As though it's something you've been through
You think this torment is romantic
Well it's not except to you
Twenty years
Sinking slowly

Can I trust you
But I don't want to

I will swallow
If it will help my sea level go down
But I'll come back to haunt you if I drown
I will swallow
If it will help my sea level go down
I'll take a deep deep breath
But I'll come back to haunt you if I drown

Low tide and high tea
The oysters are waiting for me
If I'm not there on time
I'll send my emissary
If I Photoshop you
Out of every picture I could
Go quietly quiet
But would that do any good
Will it hurt? No it won't
Then what am I so afraid of
Filthy Victorians
They made me what I'm made of
The brighter the light
The darker the shadow
I don't need a minder
I've made up my mind
Go away

Twenty years
Sinking slowly

Can I trust you
But I don't want to

I will swallow
If it will help my sea level go down
But I'll come back to haunt you if I drown
I will swallow
If it will help my sea level go down
I'll take a deep deep breath
But I'll come back to haunt you if I drown

I will swallow
If it will help my sea level go down
But I'll come back to haunt you if I drown
I will swallow
If it will help my sea level go down
But I'll come back to haunt you if I drown

I will swallow
I will

I'll tell the truth: all of my songs
Are pretty much the fucking same
I'm not a faerie but I need
More than this life so I became
This creature representing more to you
Than just another girl
And if I had a chance to change my mind
I wouldn't for the world
Twenty years
Sinking slowly

Can I trust you
But I don't want to

I will swallow
If it will help my sea level go down
But I'll come back to haunt you if I drown
I will swallow
If it will help my sea level go down
I'll take a deep deep breath
But I'll come back to haunt you if I drown

I don't want to be a legend
Oh well that's a god damned lie - I do
To say I do this for the people
I admit is hardly true
You tell me every thing's all right
As though it's something you've been through
You think this torment is romantic
Well it's not except to you
Twenty years
Sinking slowly

Can I trust you
But I don't want to

I will swallow
If it will help my sea level go down
But I'll come back to haunt you if I drown
I will swallow
If it will help my sea level go down
I'll take a deep deep breath
But I'll come back to haunt you if I drown

Low tide and high tea
The oysters are waiting for me
If I'm not there on time
I'll send my emissary
If I Photoshop you
Out of every picture I could
Go quietly quiet
But would that do any good
Will it hurt? No it won't
Then what am I so afraid of
Filthy Victorians
They made me what I'm made of
The brighter the light
The darker the shadow
I don't need a minder
I've made up my mind
Go away

Twenty years
Sinking slowly

Can I trust you
But I don't want to

I will swallow
If it will help my sea level go down
But I'll come back to haunt you if I drown
I will swallow
If it will help my sea level go down
I'll take a deep deep breath
But I'll come back to haunt you if I drown

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And when I looked out I saw that we were heading fast upon a series of iron gates set in stone, wickedly arched, and crowned with tall spikes. But what unnerved me completely was beyond the gates, a set of doors, heavy and wooden, pointed arched towering higher than any entrance to any building I had ever seen. Crossed with iron bars, and studded with heavy bolts, the doors were set in a great wall that appeared to be protecting whatever waited inside.

So paralysed was I by the sight before me, I did not notice that we had already driven past the first of the three spiked gates guarding access to the door, until I heard it crashing to a close behind us. Where am I? A short drive onward and we were at the second gate, I turned to look behind me and saw the gates closing, one after the other by power of unseen hands, or simply through years of habit more accustomed were they to being closed than opened. Were these gates erected for the protection of this great establishment? For the security of these admirable administers of magical medicines? Were these prison bars meant to keep intruders out, or to keep it's inhabitants in?

With each turn of the wheels that brought me closer to the last gate, I tried harder to drown out the answer to my questions with whatever music I could conjour into my head. Approaching the third, I began to lose my grasp on reality. I imagined we were going in circles, driving through the same gates over and over again, endlessly circling. As though there were a certain number of rotations that must be completed before access to this unknown world was granted to us. I thought of the lock on the cabinet in my music master's study, the one with four lettered plates that had to be rotated a definite amount, and then alligned in a perfect secret order before it would open. I had once unlocked it.

I felt dizzy, and much too warm. The wind screamed around the carriage, the wheels rattled, and though the gate was close ahead, we seemed to be eternally racing towards it, making no progress. A bird, something like a Raven, but a great deal larger, soared overhead, and, emitting a strange, metallic growl into the blackening sky, circled above the ever-approaching gates. As it did so, I caught sight of the sharp spikes gleaming in the pumelling rain. Still galloping at full speed, I heard the muffled squeals of what sounded like a swarm of insects.

Looking out, I swore I saw, though I did not believe my eyes at the time, a great pack of rodents, perhaps a hundred, perhaps more, sleek furry bodies skimming the Earth leaping over each other, black eyes sparkling. A quivering mass, they swam over the cobblestones like one creature, Squid's ink, spilling into water, and infecting it with deep black in seconds. How they were able to keep up with the Horses mystified me, and when the swarm dispersed, and shot on ahead of us, they darted in and out beneath the wheels of the carriage and around the Horses hammering hooves, yet, were never trampled. I followed them with my eyes as they melded together again and slipped beneath the gate to the other side like a gush of dark water, the tide coming in.

It was all so ghastly, so intoxicating, my body convulsed in a quivering wave, somewhere between horror, and wild anticipation. And then, the final gate having slammed closed behind us, we were at the ultimate precipice at last. Three...Two...One...The doors began to open, there was an awful grinding of metal, a clashing of loosened chains. And with the skies seeming to come down around us, it appeared. The Asylum.

Case number: 222.
Date of admission: February 14th 18....
Name: Emilie, last name unknown.
Age and Sex: 16 years. Female.
Married, Single or Widowed: Single.
Has any family?: Unknown.
Occupation: Hmm...
Habits of Life: .....That could mean anything.
Religious persuasion: Church of England (assumed)
Brought by whom?: Madam Mornington, Headmistress, Asylum, FWVG.
Form of Insanity: Melancholia Dementia.
Supposed cause: Unknown, assumed, genetic weakness
Is hereditary?: Suspected
Is Suicidal?: Yes
Is dangerous to others?: Yes
Is destructive to property?: Yes
State of bodily health?: Hmm....Ill
Marks of violence, if any: Cuts and bruises (Self-inflicted of course)
Facts specified in medical certificate, upon which opinion of insanity founded:
1. Facts indicating insanity observed by medical man.
Claims to hear voices at night.
Prone to bouts of melancholia, interspersed with brief periods of excitement,
such as to interrupt the peace of the household.
2: Other facts indicating insanity, communicated to him by others.
General raving.
Has made numerous accusations against her guardian,
Which, as he is a respected personage,
are clearly the ravings of a fevered mind.
Has violently attacked her guardian,
Causing serious injury.
Has conspired with the housemaid to ruin household property,
and attempted to steal items,
namely a stone Cherub and an ironwork Candelabra.
Attempted suicide by drowning (How original).
Walking the city of London in insufficient and inappropriate clothing.
Stealing goods from local merchants.
Intent to prostitute.
Order signed by....

"Now child, I abhor a fuss,
and I dislike noise in general.
So, I demand your co-operation, and am, as you can see,
prepared to extract it from you willingly or...
otherwise.
Do you intend to come quietly, or not?"

"Madam" said I, "I come as quietly as the dead"

"Brilliant, brilliant, only the light restraints then, gentlemen"

Roughly was I led out to the waiting coach by my leash,
and all I could think was "and these are the light restraints?"

(who are you?)
"I am your captain"
(What is this?)
(hello!)
"Awareness is the enemy of sanity,
For once you hear the screaming,
It never stops"

What have I got
That makes you want to love me
Is it my body
Someone I might be
Something inside me

You better tell me (tell me)
Tell me (tell me)
It's really up to you
Have you got the time to find out
Who I really am

Oh...

What does it take
To get inside of your mind
Give me a break
And take a chance
For the very first time

You better tell me (tell me)
Tell me (tell me)
It's really up to you
Have you got the time to find out
Who I really am

Something inside me

Tell me

What have I got
That makes you want to love me
Is it my body
Someone I might be
Something inside me

You better tell me (tell me)
Tell me (tell me)
It's really up to you
Have you got the time to find out
Who I really am