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To the teller down at the bank
You're just another checking account
To the plumber that came today
You're just another house
At the airport ticket counter
You're just another fare
At the beauty shop at the mall
Well you're just another head of hair
Well that's alright, that's ok
If you don't feel important, honey
All I've got to say is
[Chorus]
To the world
You may be just another girl
But to me
Baby, you are the world
To the waiter at the restaurant
You're just another tip
To the guy at the ice cream shop
You're just another dip
When you can't get reservations
'Cause you don't have the clout
Or you didn't get an invitation
'Cause somebody left you out
That's alright, that's ok
When you don't feel important honey
All I've got to say is
[Repeat chorus]
You think you're one of millions but you're one in a million to me
When you wonder if you matter, baby look into my eyes
And tell me, can't you see you're everything to me
That's alright, that's ok
When you don't feel important honey
All I've gotta say is
. . .
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I can make anybody pretty
I can make you believe any lie
I can make you pick a fight
With somebody twice your size
I been known to cause a few break ups
I been known to cause a few births
I can make you new friends
Or get you fired from Work
[1st Chorus]
And since the day I left Milwaukee
Lynchburg and Bordeaux France
Been making the bars lots of big money
And helping white people dance
I got you in trouble in high school
But college, now that was a ball
You had some of the best times
You'll never remember with me
Alcohol
Alcohol
I got blamed at your wedding reception
For your best man's embarrassing speech
And also for those
Naked pictures of you at the beach
I've influenced kings and world leaders
I helped Hemmingway write like he did
And I'll bet you a drink or two that I can make you
Put that lampshade on your head
[2nd Chorus]
'Cause since the day I left Milwaukee
Lynchburg and Bordeaux France
Been making a fool out of folks just like you
And helping white people dance
I'm medicine and I am poison
I can help you up or make you fall
You had some of the best times
You'll never remember with me
Alcohol
Alcohol
. . .
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Sittin' on a bench at West Town Mall
He sat down in his overalls and asked me
You waitin' on a woman
I nodded yeah and said how 'bout you
He said son since nineteen fifty-two I've been
Waitin' on a woman
When I picked her up for our first date
I told her I'd be there at eight
And she came down the stairs at eight-thirty
She said I'm sorry that I took so long
Didn't like a thing that I tried on
But let me tell you son she sure looked pretty
Yeah she'll take her time but I don't mind
Waitin' on a woman
He said the wedding took a year to plan
You talk about an anxious man, I was nervous
Waitin' on a woman
And then he nudged my arm like old men do
And said, I'll say this about the honeymoon, it was worth it
Waitin' on a woman
And I don't guess we've been anywhere
She hasn't made us late I swear
Sometimes she does it just 'cause she can do it
Boy it's just a fact of life
It'll be the same with your young wife
Might as well go on and get used to it
She'll take her time 'cause you don't mind
Waitin' on a woman
I've read somewhere statistics show
The man's always the first to go
And that makes sense 'cause I know she won't be ready
So when it finally comes my time
And I get to the other side
I'll find myself a bench, if they've got any
I hope she takes her time, 'cause I don't mind
Waitin' on a woman
Honey, take your time, cause I don't mind
. . .
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When a freight train jumps off a track
And rolls down my road
And its summer time in Texas
And they're playing in the snow
When politicians everywhere stop telling lies
And only state the facts
Right then, that's when
I'll take you back
Let's say I get bucked off a bull and fall and hit my head
And then I get amnesia and forget the things you said
I lose my better judgement and I take up smoking crack
Right then, that's when
I'll take you back
[Chorus]
Go on keep trying
Come on keep calling
You know I like it
When you come crawling
Its like music
To hear you balling
Waa, waa, waa, waa, waa
When Donald Trump takes a part time job parking cars
When Clint Eastwood does ballet in a big pink leotard
And a donkey wins the Derby as he takes his victory lap
Right then, that's when
I'll take you back
[Repeat chorus]
The day that old morning sun rises in the west
And they pass a law in L.A. banning artificial breasts
When cars can run on water, gasoline and oil ain't worth jack
Right then, that's when
I'll take you back
[Repeat chorus]
Its like music
To hear you balling
. . .
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She's a yellow pair of running shoes
A holey pair of jeans
She looks great in cheap sunglasses
She looks great in anything
She's I want a piece of chocolate
Take me to a movie
She's I can't find a thing to wear
Now and then she's moody
She's a Saturn with a sunroof
With her brown hair a-blowing
She's a soft place to land
And a good feeling knowing
She's a warm conversation
That I wouldn't miss for nothing
She's a fighter when she's mad
And she's a lover when she's loving
[Chorus]
And she's everything I ever wanted
And everything I need
I talk about her, I go on and on and on
'Cause she's everything to me
She's a Saturday out on the town
And a church girl on Sunday
She's a cross around her neck
And a cuss word 'cause its Monday
She's a bubble bath and candles
Baby come and kiss me
She's a one glass of wine
And she's feeling kinda tipsy
She's the giver I wish I could be
And the stealer of the covers
She's a picture in my wallet
Of my unborn children's mother
She's the hand that I'm holding
When I'm on my knees and praying
She's the answer to my prayer
And she's the song that I'm playing
[Repeat chorus]
She's the voice I love to hear
Someday when I'm ninety
She's that wooden rocking chair
I want rocking right beside me
Everyday that passes
I only love her more
Yeah, she's the one
That I'd lay down my own life for
And she's everything I ever wanted
And everything I need
She's everything to me
Yeah she's everything to me
Everything I ever wanted
And everything I need
. . .
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You've sure got a real nice place
So don't take this the wrong way
But I can tell by your decorating taste
You've been alone too long
You've got more candles than a midnight mass
That fancy mirror adds a touch of class
But do you know how good a mounted bass
Would look there on that wall
[Chorus]
You need a man around here
You can't do it all by yourself
To me it's painfully clear
That you could use a little help
Someone to kill the spiders
Change the channel and drink the beer
Seems to me that you sure need
A man around here
Thumbing through your stack of magazines
I don't see a Maxim or Field and Stream
I haven't been in a room this clean
Since they took my appendix out
Well you've gotta be kidding me
Don't tell me that thing is your TV
My laptop's got a bigger screen
Baby, there ain't no doubt
[Repeat chorus]
Someone to kill the spiders
And by the way, you're out of beer
Seems to me that you sure need
A man around here
Yeah, it seems to me that you sure need
. . .
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(feat. Alan Jackson)
I'm sittin' on the fender of someone else's truck
Drinkin' Old Crow Whiskey and hot 7 Up
Out in the parkin' lot
You can hear the band playin'
Right through the walls
Ain't no cover charge
Ain't no last call
Out in the parkin' lot
[Chorus]
Yeah, I love to see the neon dancin' on the gravel
And I love to hear the pickup trucks as they come unraveled
Some 've given up
Some 've given in
Looks like everybody's lookin' for a friend
Out in the parkin' lot
Whoops, there's a couple
Who could not wait to get home
They're probably in love so let's leave them alone
Out in the parkin' lot
There's a couple of cowboys
Puttin' up their dukes
But there weren't much to it after both of 'em puked
Out in the parkin' lot
[Repeat chorus]
Now the band is on the bus
And they're all loaded up to leave
But the drummer's got a girlfriend
And she's tuggin' at his sleeve
Out in the parkin' lot
[Repeat chorus]
I'm sittin' on the fender of someone else's truck
Drinkin' Old Crow Whiskey and hot 7 Up
. . .
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When I looked out today
And saw that the sky was gray
I thought about the way
You loved days like this
And driving in to town
It really started coming down
Bringing me back around
To all that I miss
It feels like it's rainin' you
It feels like it's rainin' you
I didn't even run inside
Or worry about staying dry
Besides there nowhere I can hide
These feeling now
Running down my face
Takes me to another place
I can't think of another way to drown
It feels like it's rainin' you
I can't explain it
But I am baptized anew
It feels like it's rainin' you
If I had my way
It would do this every day
I would never see the sun
Because the closest I get
To holding you again
Is every time that sky opens up
It feels like it's rainin' you
I can't explain it
But I am baptized anew
It feels like it's rainin' you
. . .
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Long stem things of beauty
Created by the good Lord
Cut down in the prime of their lives
Boxed up, wrapped in paper
Delivered to your front door
Just to wind up in your garbage can outside
[Chorus]
Tell me how many flowers have to die
Before you give this love another try
I've asked you to forgive me at least 9 dozen times
Tell me how many flowers have to die
I'm crazy and I'm desperate
I had you and I blew it
And right now I've got nothing left to lose
I've got a Visa in my wallet
And I'm not afraid to use it
How long the needless violence lasts
Is really up to you
[Repeat chorus]
Stop the senseless killing
Can't you hear the roses cry
Baby, how many flowers have to die
. . .
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Seasons come and seasons go
One day sun, the next day snow
Flowers die and flowers grow
But love is never-ending
You can't kill it with goodbye
It always finds a place to hide
Inside your heart for your whole life
Love is never-ending
[Chorus]
When the lights have all gone down
It'll still be hangin' 'round
Even when you think it's lost, it can still be found
When every memory has been made
And the pages start to fade
And every prayer you ever prayed is heaven bound
When you think the ride is over
You're back at the beginning
Love is never-ending
When a man and woman start growin' old
The fire of passion may grow cold
But what they got still warms their soul
Love is never-ending
[Repeat chorus]
It keeps goin' on and on
Long after we're all gone away
Time may change what you believe
But one day the truth will set you free
Just have faith and you will see
Love is never-ending
. . .
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O they tell me of a home far beyond the sky
O they tell me of a land far away
O they tell me of a home where no storm clouds rise
O they tell me of an uncloudy day
O the land of the cloudless day
O the land of the uncloudy day
O they tell me of a home where no storm clouds rise
. . .
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(feat. Dolly Parton)
When I get where I'm going
On the far side of the sky
The first thing that I'm gonna do
Is spread my wings and fly
I'm gonna land beside a lion
And run my fingers through his mane
Or I might find out what it's like
To ride a drop of rain
[Chorus]
Yeah when I get where I'm going
There'll be only happy tears
I will shed the sins and struggles
I have carried all these years
And I'll leave my heart wide open
I will love and have no fear
Yeah when I get where I'm going
Don't cry for me down here
I'm gonna walk with my grand daddy
And he'll match me step for step
And I'll tell him how I missed him
Every minute since he left
Then I'll hug his neck
[Repeat chorus]
So much pain and so much darkness
In this world we stumble through
All these questions I can't answer
So much work to do
But when I get where I'm going
And I see my maker's face
I'll stand forever in the light
Of his amazing grace
Yeah when I get where I'm going
There'll be only happy tears
Hallelujah
I will love and have no fear
When I get where I'm going
. . .
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I remember working on a rooftop
In the hot summer sun all day
Now I work two hours a night
It feels a lot more like play
'Fore Kenny joined the band
He used to hang dry wall
Ben worked down at Valentino's
So when you see us up here and think
Man they're lucky
You don't have to tell us 'cause we know
[Chorus]
Yeah, we're laughing all the way to the bank
'Cause it all just seems so funny
A bunch of guys like us
In a big tour bus
Making that easy money
Desperado hauled cattle
Grady drove trucks
Justin had a hot dog stand
Kevin sold records
And Brent sold shoes
And Gary was a garbage man
[Repeat chorus]
I used to have an ex-girlfriend
That didn't understand
She said boy you're going nowhere fast
You oughta get a real job
Why don't you quit that band
Now she can kiss my backstage pass
. . .
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I could've been workin' overtime
Or at home tryin' to make that truck run right
Instead of wadin' out in that stream
All day long barely catchin' a thing
Just me and dad
I'm glad he talked me in to that
[1st Chorus]
It was time well wasted
And there's no way I trade a few more dollars in my pocket I could've spent
For a day I'll never forget
No, I didn't get a thing done
But I sure soaked up every minute of the memory we were makin'
And I count it all as time well wasted
Those leaves were a foot deep in the yard
And 'wash me' was written all over the car
But watchin' movies all day with you
Wasn't on my list of things to do
But we laid on that couch
Girl, we never left the house
[2nd Chorus]
It was time well wasted
And there's no way I trade a few more things that I could've crossed off my list
For a day I'll never forget
No, I didn't get a thing done
But I sure soaked up every minute of the memory we were makin'
And I count it all as time well wasted
[Bridge]
This world spins too fast if you let it
There's always one more thing to do
But lookin' back I never have regretted
Takin' off early or callin' in sick
Or lovin' away a Sunday afternoon
[3rd Chorus]
It was time well wasted
And there's no way I trade a few more dollars or things crossed off my list
For a day I'll never forget
No I didn't get a thing done
But I sure soaked up every minute of the memory we were makin'
And I count it all as time well wasted
[Tag]
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(featuring James Burton & the Kung Pao Buckaroos)
Written by Brad Paisley, Frank Rogers and Peter Tilden
The Grand Old Op'ry Theatre proudly presents:
Cornography.
Kung Pao!
Episode two: The continuing adventures of the Kung Pao buckaroos.
The three cowboys needed a place to bed down for the night.
So I suggested the establishment of Miss Kitty May,
(Or she may not).
A former love and a woman of questionable repute.
So they walked into the saloon and asked for Miss Kitty.
And just then, they heard a voice sayin:
"Hi, boys. You lookin' for these."
And the littlest cowboy turned around to see two huge 38s pointed right at his
face.
(Jimmy, you can't say that!)
(What? She had huge guns.)
Smith and Wesson revolvers.
Oh boy, were they loaded.
Cornography.
She's aiming them right at us.
(Softer, George, it's more effective.)
She's aiming them right at us.
Everybody duck!
Not you, Jimmy. You stand up normal.
They dropped the money they owed her, an' she bent over to pick it up,
And, oh, that moon was beautiful.
(Now Jimmy, you can't say that!).
Out the window. I couldn't see it till then George:
There were mountains in the way.
Cornography.
"You guys are gonna get in trouble for this."
That woman sure chaps my.
Ask her out then.
I think he's got a little thing for her, George.
(Louder, Bill, it's more effective.)
I think he's got a little thing for her, George.
It's not THAT little.
(That was worth a three or four, Bill.)
All, right, Jimmy, let's get serious now.
So the little cowboy was tryin' not to act too excited.
But when I look at a woman that beautiful, it's hard.
(Jimmy!!!).
What? It's very difficult.
I hope they're not recordin' this.
Yeah.
Ah.
Cornography.
An' I said: "Little cowgirl, how would you like a little cowpoke?"
"Here we go."
Ooh yeah. Need a little buckaroo?
In your dreams short barrell.
Bum chicka bow wow.
Oh my God.
So the Kung Poo Buck.....
So the Kung Pao Buckaroos rode off into the sunset.
Tune in next time for more action and romance.
Yeah.
(Softer, George, it's more effective.)
Yeah.
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