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12.04.2011 |
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. . .
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i've got perfect misinterpret
handful of my family tree
dress rehearsal death and birth
we'll sing inside my key
i watched the sun set
i saw the snow fall
i stole paint to write your name on the stone wall
we made some babies
we made some messes too
trying to do our best to push all of the blessings through
half life gets spent behind a wheel
tryin to claim innocent while i assemble my appeal
the blood and bones are pure as the tears
you could skip a stone and hit a full jury of my peers
but don't judge yet, just let the love get you wound up enough
to beat the sound off the drum set
and point your voice at the void
rejoice, make noise like you had the choice
it goes.. over flow how much more can you hold
and still put faith first at the fork in the road
search for the universal remote control
while the words spill out of the hole in your soul
now close your eyes and crack a smile if you know me
while i spit into the sky cause i miss the little homie
guess that it means if my people hurt
somebody, please disturb my peaceful smirk
take everything that i bring with me
make who i be now,
hear my family now
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As far back as he cares to remember,
he used to see his old man lose the temper.
And Mama's pretty face would catch it all.
On a regular basis the nest would fall.
But he was always safe from dads rage
cause mama sacrifice in his place.
Two dozen years of the blood sweet and tears.
Avoid the mirror, losin' her hair from the fear.
She never left him, stayed inside.
He beat her ass up until the day that he died.
In fact the biggest beating was the day that he died.
Cause now it's too late for her to make a new life.
She gets to mourn for the touch of a punch.
Won't ever admit that she ain't clutching at much.
Some day she'll die and still wont be done.
The anger lives on through their son.
Cause he saw, he caught it all,
a childhood of watchin' ma and pa get raw.
It's too bad for him; Naw' that's half the truth.
Cause you back with him now and he's smackin' you.
What happened to you? You don't have a clue.
Did your mamma use to suffer accidents too?
I never knew that you would stand for abuse.
I guess I just assumed you'd pack up and move.
Think about when you left him last time,
said out loud you'd never forgive his past crime.
Sunglasses so dark, scarf around the neck to cover the choke marks.
And since you got it just a fire returnin'.
You convinced yourself that he's just a hurt person.
You wanna blame that cross he bares,
but his pop's not there when he tosses you down stairs.
Let me be the last to say, please don't stay.
Let me be the last to say, you won't be okay.
Please put your shoes on and step into that warm leather.
Go get yourself a more better forever.
Gotta put it down, you gotta leave it,
and don't ever come back again; You gotta mean it.
Just tear it all apart and build new,
cause' if you don't kill him he's gonna kill you.
You can't hold hands when they make fists,
and I ain't the first to say this but,
Let me be the last to say, please don't stay.
Let me be the last to say, you won't be okay.
Let me be the last to say, please don't stay.
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It's no surprise I over slept, put my boots on and climbed out my tent.
I didn't see you, assumed you were sleeping, immediately start a fire 'cause its freezing.
I can't believe we went camping in the cold; I'm in the wilderness standing in some snow.
A late start but we can still catch up, you need to wake up, we should eat and then pack up.
It's when I noticed your foot prints, snows fresh and those have been put since.
What you're already up, making the rounds? So where you at now, you laid back down?
The breeze came and it stalled out the flame, while I went to your tent and called out your name.
You didn't answer so I opened up the flap; it's just an empty sleeping bag and your backpack.
I'm looking at your tracks; you took a couple laps around the campground and hoofed down the path.
I figure you'll return no concern; Ima hold put and try to make this cold wood burn.
The wind is blowing strong, the minutes rolling on, it's going on at least half an hour you've been gone.
It aint right, start the paranoia; I left the camp site to go and search for ya.
I read the trail your feet made, each step was deliberately placed.
It looks like you know where it leads but I see nothing but leafless frozen trees.
About a ¼ mile into the course, another set of tracks appeared next to yours.
From the north it came out of the thick woods, and those footprints belong to a big wolf.
Trying to find service on my cellphone, I felt aight with my knife on my belt though.
I hope the wolf is intimidated by you, I wonder if you even knew what was behind you.
Stalkin ya, maybe watchin ya, waiting for the opportunity to hop on top of ya.
Salivatin wanna take ya to the stomach, in the cartoons you would have turned into a drumstick
And it gets about as bad it goes, 'cuz I notice there's a new set of tracks in the snow.
I understood. It doesn't look good. Your fan club doubled now you've got another wolf.
And the odds are in favor of the home team, why'd you walk off all alone where you going?
It aint the right time to complain, but it feels like I'm trying to find your remains.
Your foot prints grew further apart, I knew what that meant and it was hurting my heart.
It means you started to run so I did the same, now my breaths looking like a steam engine train.
Suddenly your tracks dip off of the track and so did theirs so my knife I grabbed.
Into the forest, expect the worst. Adrenaline burst disturbed the nerves.
50 yards into the woods and brush, it got so thick that it looked like dusk.
The air stood serene, sober, it seemed like a good 15 degrees colder.
And I'll admit hell ya I felt fear the sound of my heart beat was all I could hear.
Looking at the snow it was plain a clear there was a third set of wolf prints where yours disappeared.
I can't process, I don't follow. It would be easier to accept that you were swallowed.
With no sign of death, no sign of struggle, no signs of blood, no signs of trouble.
And the wolves never stopped, the tracks kept going and I took off.
So I don't know how your story ends, but I know I'll never go into those woods again.
It's not that tragic, it's not a shame.
You're not the hunted, you're not the aim.
You just another dog with hunger pains
I was so afraid that you'd become the game.
I forgot to worry about what you became.
You're not the hunted, you're not the aim.
You just another dog with hunger pains
I was so afraid that you'd become the game.
It's not that tragic, it's not a shame.
You're not the hunted, you're not the aim.
You just another dog with hunger pains
I was so afraid that you'd become the game.
I forgot to worry about what you became.
. . .
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So what you saying, I hear complaing
I could repeat every statement you made verbatim
I treated you better back in the day and
Now you feeling like i'm changing, like i'm not the same man
I used to force your heart rate to run a race
And now it's safe to say that it's running out of patience
Frustration, you want some separation?
You want no placement within this mess i'm making?
I'm painfully aware of my mistakes
And maybe you should break an escape from the situation
Or take a little taste of the blame
Then instead you still full of hate telling me get out your face, yeah
You don't really want, you don't really want me
You don't really want, you don't really want me to go
No you don't, that's just for show
You don't really want, you don't really want me
You don't really want, you don't really want me to go
No you don't, that's just for show
Now you wanna threaten me, is that what youre telling me?
Like if i don't step it up, what you gonna step from me?
Where you gonna go? You next to me steadily
At this point it's like I'm joined with your chemistry
Guess that it just wasn't meant to be our destiny
It's upsetting, see, I gave you the best of me
All my friends are like just let her leave, huh
So go ahead and pretend that I set you free, what?
You don't really want, you don't really want me
You don't really want, you don't really want me to go
No you don't, that's just for show
You don't really want, you don't really want me
You don't really want, you don't really want me to go
No you don't, that's just for show
Alright already, now you make this headache pound
I ain't trying to mess around, you ain't allowed to get me down
It's no sweat at all na I won't stress about
Anything projected out of your passive agressive mouth
Let it out, if we walking on a separate ground
Go ahead and step off with all of those brand new friends you found
Hit the town, you'll be back for a second round
If you was gonna leave me you would have already left me now
. . .
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If she want it
I'm gonna give it up
if she running low
I'm gonna fill her cup
if it spill, chill, Imma clean it up
I'll be right here cause shes enough
if she needed the money
I would stick you up
if she's getting bored
I do some different stuff
don't need anything just keep it up
I'll be right here cause shes enough
she wanna do the damn thing and im on her side
she opened up the wings and she gonna fly
she got no time for the fuss and fight
she does it right, she loves her life
she the one to put the kick in the drums
she the hot stove top when the winter comes
she hits the run, she can lift a ton
she gon stick to the job and get it done
she hop out and push if the motors dead
she gotta keep it moving with no regret
she's up in my head, but never oversteps
she let me know when it's time for us to go to bed
she's may lady case closed
she want a baby so I gave her one of those
belly getting big, look at the tits grow
she want a song so I wrote one and it goes
If she want it
I'm gonna give it up
if she running low
I'm gonna fill her cup
if it spill, chill, Imma clean it up
I'll be right here cause shes enough
if she needed the money
I would stick you up
if she's getting bored
I do some different stuff
don't need anything just keep it up
I'll be right here cause shes enough
she the one that you wanna grow old with
she gotta touch it
she want to hold it
she gets focused
she's got the dopest kissed
she don't need you to tell her already knows it is
she makes me laugh till I'm on that floor
she don't ask why I adore
she like to travel so we explore
shes seen everything want to see some more
she the opposite of selfish
she love house pets, she wants to help kids
she pulled me out my shell
fit tight like a belt now the suckers get jealous
believe it don't get sweeter
she gonna make me sweat like fever
she wanna eat so we went to domingis
she want a ring, got me measuring her fingers
If she want it
I'm gonna give it up
if she running low
I'm gonna fill her cup
if it spill, chill, Imma clean it up
I'll be right here cause shes enough
if she needed the money
I would stick you up
if she's getting bored
I do some different stuff
don't need anything just keep it up
I'll be right here cause shes enough
got me here, whatcha do now is up to you now
got me here, whatcha do now is up to you
got me here, whatcha do now is up to you now
got me here, whatcha do now is up to you
. . .
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You can find me over there at the bar
You ain't even gotta ask
I don't know where they are
I'm a bad bad daddy
I'm a bad bad daddy
And I'm nasty
And I still ain't callin it quits
But Sean, what the fucks wrong with all of your kids
I'm a bad bad daddy
I'm a bad bad daddy
Sittin at the bar just minding my biz
I came down with all nine of my kids
And they all got an attitude
Mad cause I said we can't go to the zoo
It's not a lie
But daddys too high
If I drive, I will probably catch a DUI
Here, play with this pitcher of beer
Sit in there chairs, and don't disappear
Everybody on your best behavior
Tip the waitress, respect your neighbors
I'll be watchin
You know what not to do
Don't make me walk over here
Just to talk to you
I gave em all some money
So they could play pinball and put
grub in they tummies
Now Imma go get bombed
And you better not tell your mom
And like clockwork, soon as I stepped away
You know they got worse
They didn't hesitate
Of course they start with the horseplay
And then it escalates
Then you get a court case
Little Sluggos
Thugs and cutthroats
Big trouble, cigarettes, puff those
Smash bottles on the floor and
Writing graffiti, fighting with the door man
Playin with switchblades and matches
Pick pocketin the cash and the plastic
Gettin high out back by the trashcans
Tryin to get the waitress to give a lapdance
I can't control em
So Imma pretend I don't know em
Now let me celebrate and get drunk
Cause my wife missed her period again this month
You can find me over there at the bar
You ain't even gotta ask, I don't know where they are
I'm a bad bad daddy
I'm a bad bad daddy
And I'm nasty
And I still ain't callin it quits
But Sean, what the fucks wrong with all of your kids
I'm a bad bad daddy
I'm a bad bad daddy
Somebody slap me
. . .
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I only act like an asshole
Why don't ya'll stay in back
Let the man grow
I can't tell what town this is
But I know that bill was a counterfeit
Hye bartender, bump a top jar
Gotta think about where to dump this cop car
I'm too slick, so fuck your bullshit
I'm coolin in the corner with my custom pool stick
My grandad must've played the jazz
When I bleed you can hear my heartbeat snap
All around the world, its the same bar
Wishin that the jukebox had some Gangstarr
State to state, I chase fate
But my stereo ate all my favorite tapes
So babydoll, you better straighten up the attitude
Or you ain't gonna make it with me
All the way to Baton Rouge
Call her mama, she make the milk pour
On 94', too high to read the billboard
Got a room at the Best Western
The guy at the front desk looks like Les Nessman
Hush now, not a sound
Shut the door, and lay your towel down
Ya'll run around and figure out what its all about
While I try to find a cure for this cotton mouth
I keep track of the miles I run
But read the flask, say Southside, son
Took a sip through the hole of my ski mask
Roll till we get to the Burbs for the cheap gas
Speed pass, Millenium Dodo
I got my own lane, I don't wait for the popo
So order up another plate of oysters
You talk so much, you makin my voice hurt
Dental floss inside of the glove box
Radio locked on the classic rock
With the mirrorball, Escape From New York style
Double parked outside of the court house
The windchill got a big ol butt
My breath fog all the windows up
Take a break from the rotten grapevines
Fill the tank and then spank the state lines
Never make this mountain move, naw you're bound to lose
But I knew that I could count on you
Next rounds on you (Is that true?)
Wash my sins off in the rain
Caught this fish now, light the flame
I only claim whats in my veins
That's my crown and that's my name
Gotta wait till they slash the price
Before you catch a life
But we can spend half the night with the dashboard light
(Is that right?)
I'm just sayin if its all a game, you can hang your pain
In the hall of fame
Don't make me explain, that's my crown and thats my name
The pick pockets call me Ali Baba
I'm here to sell you some magic water
You might know me as Jacob and Malcom's father
Rest in peace Eyedea and Sally Slaughter
Its like that ya'll
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In this lifetime you don't have ta prove nothin to nobody
Except yourself
And after what you've gone through
If you haven't done that by now
It ain't gonna never happen
Yo, hey yo I'm never be what you'd expect me to be
Clever like that
Just when you cats think you know me
Never let the negativity hold or stop me
Never forget the knowledge hiphop has taught me
Even though the prophets might never get signed
Never drop a video or go platinum with my rhymes
It'll be cool just knowin that we've touched a few
And rocked the mic with some of the dopest emcee's too
You'll never catch jes givin anything less than my all
And I'll forever be with mad sun until the day i fall
I'll never be as dope as you dog but I can live with that
You'll always get love from me
But you'll never give it back
I'll never see a million dollars in this lifetime
And you'll never be blessed to have a woman quite like mine
To gain respect is a never-ending journey
Cuz I'll always be jes and I guess I'm never worthy
Never could my voice lay down and die
Give me one good eye to see my influence fly
Forever I'll try to wear a genuwine smile
Because I've planted my style across a million miles
I'll never turn my back on the heads I attract
Mic check need a breath to keep a step on the path
Never lose sight of what this is to me
And how it helps my plight to let everyone else see
I'll never go out of my way to hold you back
I'm just here to make your head rock maybe make your shoes tap
And with some luck maybe I can get stuck
Within your memory remember me I'm the one that does give a (what)
And I will never be you
And you will never be me
But I'm like
Whatever
We can work together and see
All we need is the sun and some water for this tree
And we can all be free
And even I can get free
And yo I'll never forget those who always believe
And the ones who gave us R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Yo I'll never be the emcee that you want me to be
There'll always be something I do or say and you won't agree
That's my individuality, originality
Even though some of y'all get pissed off and mad at me
Never forget my family or where I'm from
Never blame others for the wrong I've done
Yo I'll never hold a grudge I say peace and show love
Never believed one day I'd be rhymin with slug
Never know the ablities that you posses
Till you find yourself and lay all your assumptions to rest
I'll never stop writing when there's no ink left
And I'll never stop blowing even when there's no breath
And I'll never find the words that describe my mind
Yo I'll never stop lookin and I'll never stop tryin
Better believe I'll never be the best word-worker
Instead I use the soul to take the flow further
I'll never rhyme about guns, sellin drugs, or murder
Sooner see a future of flippin burgers
I'll never forget about the city that raised me
The women I've chased and the cops that have chased me
The people that pushed me to become who I am
And everyone that came to the jam (like damn)
I'll never be the freshest
Never be the dopest
Even though sometimes it's hopeless
I'll never lose focus
I'll never be afraid to show the depth of my emotions
There's a side of me that's deeper then the belly of the ocean
I'll never be the smartest
Never be the brightest
I'll never be the hardest
Never be the tightest
On the mic I'm just your average joe
Never more but i've been more dedicated than ever before
I'll never give up
Never call it quits
You can never hold me down and I never did like to fool around
I'll never be
Life for me ain't never been easy yo
I try to be positive no matter the weather
And no matter what
I'll never say never
And I will never be you
And you will never be me
But I'm like
Whatever
We can work together and see
All we need is the sun and some water for this tree
And we can all be free
And even I can get free
Well I hope you folks enjoyed yourselves
Catch you later on down the trail
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I Don't Need Brighter Days
I don't need brighter days
I just need some faith
You got me walkin' away now
You got me walkin' away (x2)
It was the year of the witch
Nobody steered clear of the ditch
They say brave when you don't flinch
But we never saw the blade, never had the chance to cringe
Don't ever forget to put misery on the guest list
Sippin' on a memory for breakfast
Dwiddle of the of the party, all alone
You wanna dig up bones but your claws aint grown
Put your half empty glass on a coaster, step backwards slow
Got a sky full of bats circlin over the crowd
Your eyes go black when you open your mouth
I'm like, walkin on a frozen rain, wanna claim a block that's got no complaints
But I'm dyin in a city called look at me now
Little piggy wanna cook up the cow
I'm like, might as well knock down them walls
When the earthquakes follow you for all of your faults
Let the facade fall dead in the fog
While the voices that are inside of your head applaud
I'm like, everyone got a course to fly
Run towards a rise and aim for the sky
So high, sleepin under the stars
You outgrew the sum of your parts
I used to run wild like a child of thieves
Now I, breathe quiet in a pile of leaves
With a space heater on the back of my porch
For when I take a break from attacking your fort
You said you want it
But you can't see the center of the web because you standin on it
Don't wait to escape from the ways you escape
Just throw your hands up and say
You got me walkin away now
You got me walkin away (x2)
I don't need brighter days
I just need some faith
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Smoke Up, Hold Up, I'm on that grown-up stuff.
I'll be the butter you joke, 'cause I can hold my cup.
You jumped in that tub, you're trying to soak it up.
You chose to go and get stuck, I'm not your gold rush.
Yea I showed up. Was Hoping to post up.
Every few moments you move more closer.
I notice the donuts. I'm hoping to know such.
Like its my obligation to show love, you know what?
Yea you know what.
[Chorus]
Yea I came to party, but I don't wanna party with you.
You know I ain't nobody.
Yea I came to party, but I don't wanna party with you.
Uh huh, that's when it became apparent,
that you were 'customed to the ways of embarrassment.
Uh huh, I want no place in your experiment,
but if I walk away you'll blame it on my arrogance.
Lets make this clear, I'm not your therapist.
There is no interest in hearing about your carelessness.
I'd rather disappear like a _?_.
Lift into the air, carry me away from where this is.
I'm not hearing.
[Chorus]
Looking around for a cause to get lost to.
The drop off's too deep to try and cross through.
There's no crown for the fisherman that caught you,
so this the sound of me whistling the wrong tune.
It's gotta be obvious I'm not who you should talk to.
You oughta probably just walk, no one'll stop you.
Fly to the wash room, try to fix your costume.
Yea I'm with somebody & I promise that she's not you.
Sorry I thought you knew.
[Chorus]
Now you go and wait
far away
Now you go and wait
far away
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Heyyy
How you doing?
Ain't seen you in a long
Is everything all fine?
Doing your best?
I'm glad to hear it
Its all progress
Yeah that's the spirit
Look at you!
You look great!
It seems like you kept your self in good shape
You stopped drinking?
Huh?
Congratulations.
You back in school too?
That's fascinating...
So what you doing now a days?
You living here again or just vising for the holidays?
Yeah yeah
Hows your family?
Hows you mommy and daddy?
They living happily?
So tell me all about LA
Huh?
You don't live in LA?
Hold up
wait wait wait
Chicago
Hows Chicago?
What?!
No?
What?
Were you living then?
Ohhhhhhhh...
My fault
Please forgive me
Bad memories
So hows the big city?
You paying dues?
You making moves?
Yeah i always knew someday you'd break trough.
Your forever been a go getter
And i wont forget that
Bet that ill remember
I never told you this but
I wish you the best, success and all that other shit.
But that my que
I got stuff to do
It was a special surprise to bump into you
Stay safe
You have yourself a great day
Wait!
What was that?
What you say?
My phone number?
Nah i don't think so
I only gave it to a handful of close people.
Lets not make this into an issue
But the truth is...
I DONT MISS YOU!
La La La La La
I will disappear
La La La La La
No far and no near
La La La La La
You are not my dear
I don't care where you for from here
La La La La La
I will disappear
La La La La La
No far and no near
La La La La La
You are not my dear
Theirs no tears next you tor name here...
La La La La La
. . .
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if you can save me now,
let's go someplace safe and sound.
i'll try not to weigh you down,
but i don't know if i can wait around.
if you can save me now,
let's go someplace safe and sound...
it happened fast, like a camera flash.
the accident - then the aftermath.
not even sure what caused the crash.
if i had the strength, i would probably laugh.
i'm so relaxed.
warm like blood.
layin' on my back in the sun-dried mud.
there's no point in even trying to get up.
i got my eyes glued to the blue sky above.
and it's been a beautiful summer.
it reminds me of when i was younger.
used to count down to the sound of thunder
i smell fresh cut grass mixed with the burnt rubber.
and i don't need to take a glance to know,
cause' i can hear the traffic as it passes slow.
they' on the other side of the window -
checkin' out the damage, lookin' at the show.
i can hear the sirens get near.
mama used to tell us to plug our ears.
it get's so loud and clear until every other noise disappears.
and right now i'm tryin' to block it out,
by imagining the sounds that come out' your mouth.
i saw two birds fly south,
and i thought about the day we bought that house.
memories seem so real. just like everything that i feel.
tried to coast on all five wheels.
i wanna cry, i keep the tears concealed.
i hear voices; footsteps.
a cops radio off to the left.
the noise made me reflect.
somewhere along the way i must've caught my breath.
drifting. dreaming. and then i heard somebody screaming.
but i don't even want to know the reason,
so i kept my focus on the view i'm seeing.
started thinkin' bout the ones thats gone.
everybody from the past that passed on.
you played your cards, had to stand strong.
but it ain't that hard to sing a sad song.
we all got scars and broken parts.
but most of the marks stay close to my heart.
waitin' for the down-poor to start.
the rain clouds over my head got dark.
and then i saw my angel cut through the storm -
she was in a firefighter uniform.
i close my eyes so i can see some more
and for the first ever i remember bein' born.
if you can save me now,
let's go someplace safe and sound.
i'll try not to weigh you down,
but i don't know if i can wait around.
i say ...
if you can save me now,
let's go someplace safe and sound.
i'll try not to weigh you down,
but i don't know if i can wait around.
i say...
but i don't know if i can wait around, i say..
i'll try not to weigh you down, but i don't know if i can wait around, i say...
if you can save me now.
. . .
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They tell me that, I'm not qualified,
To lend my voice to something so beautiful.
Late night, awake with the stars.
Stage fright, you came so far.
No more wait, it's time to depart.
See it on my face, feel it in my heart.
Suitcase packed, put it in the car.
Took one last look at the yard, snows gone, it's never growin' back.
Rolled on with the windows cracked.
No sounds, just the breath of the draft.
Slow down; don't wreck, don't crash on a,
Road vacance, no one to pass and I'm,
So anxious, won't relax.
Clear the path, these tears I have are 'cause I can't wait to hear you laugh.
They tell me that, I'm not qualified,
To lend my voice to something so beautiful.
They tell me that, I'm not qualified,
To lend my voice, to something so beautiful.
We only get to live one time, but twice did my life stand in some sunshine.
I could lose eyesight, I could end up blind.
But I drew my design inside the bloodline.
Years go by, memories combine.
But y'all the only reason I would even rewind.
Thank you for the branch you grew on this tree.
Your first breath wasn't easy to find.
So you signified the mountain you climbed,
By lettin' out a warriors cry and it sounded like mine.
Now everybody hold up the family sign.
They tell me that I'm not qualified,
To lend my voice to something so beautiful.
. . .
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I saw the sun rise, then the green grew
Weaving through the concrete cracks that we cling to
As long as I can hit my notes, I'ma
Try to keep up with my folks
I smelled rain that brought the flash flood
With a river of permanent tear drops and rap hugs
Bad luck, play with the effortless
So I backed away from quick benefits
She'd skin of those that spit venomous
Yeah that's him, he's the one that tips generous
Still trying to define my description
A life with a little spare time for living
But even if I wanna hold the position
I gotta go, like "Daddy don't know any different"
I saw the noon sky, look at the snow melt
I left most my baggage up in a hotel
As long as I can hit my notes, I'ma
Travel down that gravel road
I heard a bird cry - it was pathetic
Man, if you can fly, spread feathers like a message
As long as I can hit my notes, I'ma
Stay on top this box of soap
I felt the track slip, but didn't pull breaks
I'm half dead, but already got a full plate
As long as I can hit my notes...
. . .
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