Альбом Ani DiFranco

You think you're not worthy
I'd have to say I agree
I'm not worthy of you
You're not worthy of me
Which of us is deserving
Look at the human race
The whole planet at arm's length
And we don't deserve this place

What good is a poker face
When you've got an open hand
I was supposed to be cool about this
I remember cool was the plan
Tried to keep it all under wraps
But the wraps kept going slack
I keep turning round
I keep coming back

Give me a vertical
Your horizontal line
I want to take each of them
Bend them to fit mine
The world is too good for me
I am such a naughty girl
But when we're together
We're too good for this world

You think you're not worthy
I'd have to say I agree
I'm not worthy of you
You're not worthy of me
I'm not worthy of you
You aren't worthy of me...

Tiptoeing through the used condoms
Strewn on the piers
Off the west side highway
Sunset behind the skyline of jersey
Walking towards the water
With a fetus holding court in my gut
My body highjacked
My tits swollen and sore
The river has more colors at sunset 
Than my sock drawer ever dreamed of
I could wake up screaming sometimes
But I don't
I could step off the end of this pier but I got shit to do
And I've an appointment on tuesday
To shed uninvited blood and tissue
I'll miss you I say 
To the river to the water
To the son or daughter 
I thought better of
I could fall in love 
With jersey at sunset
But I leave the view to the rats
And tiptoe back

Fourteenth street and the garbage swirls like a cyclone
Three-o-clock in the afternoon 
And I am going home
F-train is full of high school students
So much shouting, so much laughter
Last night's underwear 
In my back pocket
Sure sign of the morning after

Take me home
Take me home and leave me there
Think I'm going to cry, don't know why
Think I'm going to sing myself a lullaby
Feel free to listen
Feel free to stare

I live in New York, New York 
City that never shuts up
In the daylight everything is so gory
You can hear snatches of stranger's sorry stories
And I moved there from buffalo 
But that's nothing
The trico plant moved to Mexico
Left my uncle standing out in the cold
Said there's your last paycheck 
Have fun growing old

Take me home
Take me home and leave me there
Think I'm going to cry, don't know why
Think I'm going to sing myself a lullaby
Feel free to listen
Feel free to stare

Rockabye baby
In the treetop
When the wind blows
The cradle will rock
When the bough breaks
The cradle will fall
Down will come baby
Cradle and all

Youth is beauty
Money is beauty
Hell, beauty is beauty sometimes
It's the luck of the draw
It's the natural law
It's a joke, it's a crime
I was bored
You were bored
It was a meeting of the minds
Now it's three in the afternoon 
And I can't leave too soon
Saying, thank you I had a nice time

Take me home
Take me home and leave me there
Think I'm going to cry, don't know why
Think I'm going to sing myself a lullaby
Feel free to listen
Feel free to stare

Maybe I'll live my whole life
Just getting by
Maybe I'll be discovered
Maybe I'll be colonized
You can try to train me like a pet
You can try to teach me to behave
But I'll tell you, if I haven't learned it yet
You know,
I ain't gonna sit
I ain't gonna stay

Take me home
Take me home and leave me there
Think I'm going to cry, I don't know why
Think I'm going to sing myself a lullaby
Feel free to listen
Feel free to stare

The heat is so great
It plays tricks with the eye
It turns the road to water
And then from water to sky
And there's a crack in the concrete floor
And it starts at the sink
There's a bathroom in a gas station
And I've locked myself in it to think

And back in the city
The sun bakes the trash on the curb
The men are pissing in doorways
And the rats are running in herds
I got a dream with your face in it
That scares me awake
I put too much on the table
Now I got too much at stake

And I might let you off easy
Yeah I might lead you on
I might wait for you to look for me
And then I might be gone
There's where I come from and 
Where I'm going
And I am lost in between
I might go up to that phone booth
And leave a veiled invitation 
On your machine

And you'll stop me, won't you
If you've heard this one before
The one where I surprise you
By showing up at your front door
Saying let's not ask what's next,
Or how, or why
I am leaving in the morning
So let's not be shy

The door opens
The room winces
The housekeeper comes in 
Without a warning
I squint at the muscular motel light
And say, hey, good morning
As she jumps her keys jingle
And she leaves as quickly
As she came in
And I roll over and taste the pillow with my grin

Well, the sheets are twisted and damp
The heat is so great
And I swear I can feel the mattress
Sinking underneath your weight
Oh sleep is like a fever
And I'm glad when it ends
And the road flows like a river
And pulls me around every bend

And you'll stop me, won't you...

I'm sorry I didn't sound more excited on the phone
I'm sorry that after all these years
I've left you feeling unrequited and alone
Brought you to tears

I guess I never loved you quite as well
As the way you loved me
I guess I'll never really be able to tell you
How sorry I am

I don't know what it is about you
I just know it's not what it was
I don't know why red fades before blue
It just does

And I don't know what it is about me
That I just can't keep still
I keep thinking some day
I will make this all up to you
And maybe someday I will

I guess I never loved you quite as well
As the way you loved me
I guess I'll never really be able to tell you 
How sorry I am

Wish I didn't have this nervous laugh
wish I didn't say half the stuff I say
wish I could just learn to cover my tracks
Guess I'm not concerned enough
About getting away with it

Every time I try to hold my tongue
It slips like a fish from a line
They say if you want to play
You should learn how to play dumb
I guess I can't bring myself
To waste your time

Cuz we both know what I've been doing
I've been intentionally bad at lying
You're the only boy I ever 
Let see thru me
And I hope you believe me 
When I say I'm trying
I hope I never improve my game
I would rather have these things 
Weigh on my mind
Cuz at the end of this tunnel of guilt and shame
There must be a light of some kind
There must be a light of some kind

Musta have blown a fuse or something
It was so dark in my mind
She came up to me with the sweetest face
And she was holding a light of some kind
And I still think of you as my boyfriend
I don't think this is the end of the world
Maybe you should follow my example
And go meet yourself 
A really nice girl

We both know. . .

In the end the world 
Comes down to just a few people
For you it comes down to one
But nobody ever asked me 
If I thought I could be
Everything to someone
There's a crowd of people 
Harboured in every person
There are so many roles that we play
You've decided to love me for eternity
I'm still deciding 
Who I want to be today

We both know. . .

I am not a pretty girl
That is not what I do
I ain't no damsel in distress
And I don't need to be rescued
So put me down punk
Wouldn't you prefer a maiden fair
Isn't there a kitten 
Stuck up a tree somewhere

I am not an angry girl
But it seems like
I've got everyone fooled
Every time I say something 
They find hard to hear
They chalk it up to my anger
And never to their own fear
And imagine you're a girl
Just trying to finally come clean
Knowing full well they'd prefer 
You were dirty 
And smiling

And I am sorry
I am not a maiden fair
And I am not a kitten 
Stuck up a tree somewhere

And generally my generation
Wouldn't be caught dead 
Working for the man
And generally I agree with them
Trouble is you gotta have yourself 
An alternate plan
I have earned my disillusionment
I have been working all of my life
And I am a patriot
I have been fighting the good fight
And what if there are
No damsels in distress
What if I knew that
And I called your bluff
Don't you think every kitten 
Figures out how to get down
Whether or not you ever show up

I am not a pretty girl
I don't really want to be a pretty girl
I want to be more than a pretty girl

Hour follows hour
Like water follows water
Everything is governed by the rule
Of one thing leads to another
You can't really place blame
Cuz blame is much to messy
Some was bound to get on you 
While you were tryin to put it on me

Don't fool yourself 
Into thinking things are simple
Nobody's lying still the stories don't line up
Why do you try to hold on 
To what you'll never get a hold on
You wouldn't try to put the ocean
In a paper cup

Cuz I have had something to prove
As long as I know there's something 
That needs improvment
And you know that every time I move
I make a woman's movement
And first you decide
What you've gotta do
Then you go out and do it
And maybe the most we can do
Then you go out and do it
And maybe the most we can do
Is just to see eachother through it

Hour follows hour like water in a river
And from one to the next we don't know 
What each hour will deliver
We just call it like we see it
Call it out loud as we can
And then afterwards we call it all water 
Over the dam

Maybe the moral high ground
Isn't as high as it seems
Maybe we are both good people 
Who've done some bad things
I just hope it was okay
I know it wasn't perfect
I hope in the end we can laugh 
And say it was all worth it

Cuz I have had something to prove
As long as I know something
That needs improvement
And you know that everytime I move
I make a woman's movement
And first you decide what you've gotta do
Then you go out and do it
And maybe the most that we can do
Is just to see eachother through it

We make our own gravity 
To give weight to things
Then things fall and they break 
And gravity sings
We can only hold so much is what I figure
We try and keep our eye on the big picture
And the picture keeps getting bigger

Too much is how I love you
But too well is how I know you
And I've got nothing to prove this time
Just something to show you
I guess I just wanted you to see
That it was all worth it to me

Squint your eyes and look closer
I'm not between you and your ambition
I am a poster girl with no poster
I am thirty-two flavors and then some
And I'm beyond your peripheral vision
So you might want to turn your head
Cuz someday you're going to get hungry
And eat most of the words you just said

Both my parents taught me about good will
And I have done well by their names
Just the kindness i've lavished on strangers
Is more than I can explain
Still there's many 
Who've turned out their porch lights
Just so I would think they were not home
And hid in the dark of their windows
Til I'd passed and left them alone

And god help you if you are an ugly girl
Cause too pretty is also your doom
Cuz everyone harbors a secret hatred
For the prettiest girl in the room
And god help you if you are a phoenix
And you dare to rise up from the ash
A thousand eyes will smolder with jealousy
While you are just flying past

I never tried to give my life meaning
By demeaning you
And I would like to state for the record
I did everything that I could do
I'm not saying that i'm a saint
I just don't want to live that way
No, I will never be a saint
But I will always say

Squint your eyes and look closer
I'm not between you and your ambition
I am a poster girl with no poster
I am thirty-two flavors and then some
And I'm beyond your peripheral vision
So you might want to turn your head
Cuz someday you might find you're starving
And eating all of the words you said

I want somebody who sees the pointlessness
And still keeps their purpose in mind
I want somebody who has a tortured soul
Some of the time
I want somebody who will either put out for me
Or put me out of my misery
Or maybe just put it all to words
And make me say, you know
I never heard it put that way
Make me say, what did you just say?

I want somebody who can hold my interest
Hold it and never let it fall
Someone who can flatten me 
With a kiss that hits like a fist
Or a sentence that stops me 
Like a brick wall
If you hear me talking
Listen to what I'm not saying
If you hear me playing guitar
Listen to what I'm not playing
And don't ask me to put words
To all the spaces between notes
Don't ask me to put words
To all the silences I wrote
In fact if you have to ask, forget it
Do and you'll regret it
I'm tired of being the interesting one
I'm tired of having fun for two
Just lay yourself on the line
And I might lay myself down by you
But don't sit behind your eyes
And wait for me to surprise you
I want somebody who 
Can make me scream until it's funny
Give me a run for my money
I want someone who can
Twist me up in knots
Tell me, for the woman who has everything
What have you got?
I want someone who's not afraid of me
Or anyone else
In other words I want someone
Who's not afraid of themself

Do you think I'm asking too much?

Got a garden of songs 
Where I grow all my thoughts
Wish I could harvest one or two 
For some small talk
I'm always starving for words 
Whenever you're around
Nothing on my tongue 
So much in the ground
Nothing on my tongue 
So much in the ground

Half the time I got my gaze 
Trained on your motel door
Fourth door from the end
Rest of the time my gaze lays 
Like a stain on the carpeted floor
If it weren't for my brain 
I'd just go over and make friends
Too bad about my brain 
Cuz I'd like to make friends.

See the little song bird 
Unable to make a sound
You'd never know she follows 
Her words from town to town
We both have gardens of songs 
And maybe its okay
That I am speechless 
Cuz I picked you this bouquet
Yup, sure am speechless
But I picked you this bouquet

The big day has come
The bell is sounding
I run my hands through my hair one last time
Outside the prison walls
The town is gathering
People are trading crime for crime

Everyone needs to see the prisoner
They need to make it even easier
They see me as a symbol, and not a human being
That way they can kill me
Say it's not murder, it's a metaphor
We are killing off our own failure
And starting clean

Standing in the gallows
Everyone turned my way
I hear a voice ask me
If I've got any last words to say
And I'm looking out over the field of familiar eyes
Somewhere in a woman's arms a baby cries

I think guilt and innocence
They are a matter of degree
What might be justice to you
Might not be justice to me
I went to far, I'm sorry
I guess now I'm going home
So let any amongst you cast the first stone
Now we've got all these complicated machines
So no one person ever has to have blood on their hands
We've got complex organizations
And if everyone just does their job
No one person has to understand

You might be the wrong colour
You might be too poor
Justice isn't something just anyone can afford
You might not pull the trigger
You might be out in the car
And you might get a lethal injection
'Cause we take a metaphor that far

The big day has come
The bell is sounding
I run my hands through my hair one last time
Outside the prison walls
The town has gathered
People are trading crime for crime
People are trading crime for crime
People are still trading crime for crime

Our father who art in a penthouse
Sits in his 37th floor suite
And swivels to gaze down
At the city he made me in
He allows me to stand and
Sollicit graffiti until
He needs the land I stand on
I in my darkened threshold
Am pawing through my pockets
The receipts, the bus schedules
The matchbook phone numbers
The urgent napkin poems
All of which laundering has rendered
Pulpy and strange
Loose change and a key
Ask me
Go ahead, ask me if I care
I got the answer here
I wrote it down somewhere
I just gotta find it
I just gotta find it

Somebody and their spraypaint got too close
Somebody came on too heavy
Now look at me made ugly
By the drooling letters
I was better off alone
Ain't that the way it is
They don't know the first thing
But you don't know that
Until they take the first swing
My fingers are red and swollen from the cold
I'm getting bold in my old age
So go ahead, try the door
It doesn't matter anymore
I know the weakhearted are strongwilled
And we are being kept alive
Until we're killed
He's up there 
The ice is clinking in his glass
I don't ask
I just empty my pockets and wait
It's not fate
It's just circumstance
I don't fool myself with romance
I just live
Phone number to phone number
Dusting them against my thighs
In the warmth of my pockets
Which whisper history incessantly
Asking me where were you

I lower my eyes
Wishing I could cry more
And care less,
Yes it's true,
I was trying to love someone again,
I was caught caring,
Bearing weight

But I love this city, this state
This country is too large
And whoever's in charge up there
Had better take the elevator down
And put more than change in our cup

The air comes off the ocean
The city smells fishy
The air is full of fish and mystery
Whispering who, what, when
And I'm warning you I am weightless
And the wind is always shifting
So don't hang anything on me
If you ever want to see it again
I am telling you I'm different than you
Think I am

And you can dangle your carrot
But I ain't gunna reach for it
Cuz I need both my hands
To play my guitar
And life is a sleazy stranger
Who looks vaguely familiar
Flirting with a bimbo named disaster
At the end of the bar
And I am telling you that I am different
Than you are

At night when you're asleep
Self-hatred's going to creep in
And try to blame it on the devil
(The one who's bed you sleep in)
And don't tell me what they did to you
As though you had no choice
Tell me, isn't that your picture?
Isn't that your voice?
If you don't live what you sing about
Your mirror is going to find out

Yeah, I'd like to go to all the pretty parties
Where all the pretty people go
And I ain't really all that pretty
But nobody will know
Cuz everybody loves you
When you're a star
And nobody questions
What it takes to go that far
Life is a sleezy stranger
And this is his favorite bar

No I don't prefer obscurity
But I'm an idealistic girl
And I wouldn't work for you
No matter what you paid
And I may not be able
To change the whole fucking world
But I could be the million
That you never made

I could be the million that you never made
I could be the million that you'll never make
You're looking at the million that you'll never make