Альбом Ani DiFranco

I opened the fire door to four lips
None of which were mine
Kissing
Tightened my belt around my hips
Where your hands were missing
And stepped out into the cold
Collar high
Under the slate grey sky
The air was smoking and the streets were dry
And I wasn't joking when I said
Good Bye
Magazine quality men talking on the corner
French, no less much less of them then us
So why do I feel like something's been rearranged?
You know, taken out of context I must seem so strange
Killed a cockroach so big
It left a puddle of pus on the wall
When you and I are lying in bed
You don't seem so tall
I'm singing now because my tear ducts are too tired
And my brain is disconnected but my heart is wired
I make such a good statistic
Someone should study me now
Somebody's got to be interested in how I feel
Just 'cause I'm here
And I'm real
Oh, how I miss
Substituting the conclusion to confrontation with a kiss
And oh, how I miss
Walking up to the edge and jumping in
Like I could feel the future on your skin
I opened the fire door to four lips
None of which were mine
Kissing

State trooper thinks I drive too fast
Pulled me over to tell me so
I say out here on the prarie
Any speed is too slow
I miss brooklyn I miss my crew
Let's start over
I missed my cue
Guess I just forgot
Who I was talking to

I should have recognized
That fierce look in his eyes
I've seen it in the mirror
So many times
He's going to put his two cents in
'Cause he's got a gun
But I'm gonna put in three
'Cause history owes me one

Guess I came out here to see some
Stuff for myself
I mean, why leave the telling
Up to everybody else
This may be god's country
But it's my country too
Move over Mr. holiness
And let the little people through

Thank you for serving and protecting
The likes of me
Thank you for the ticket
Now can I leave?
You know I have left everywhere
I have ever been
I don't really recommend it
Though not like anyone asked me
Maybe you and I
Will meet again someday
I've been known to
Come down this road
Call it destiny
And then again
Maybe not
I don't know

How can I go home
With nothing to say
I know you're going to look at me that way
And say what did you do out there
And what did you decide
You said you needed time
And you had time

You are a china shop
And I am a bull
You are really good food
And I am full
I guess everything is timing
I guess everything's been said
So I am coming home with an empty head

You'll say did they love you or what
I'll say they love what I do
The only one who really loves me is you
And you'll say girl did you kick some butt
And I'll say I don't really remember
But my fingers are sore
And my voice is too

You'll say it's really good to see you
You'll say I missed you horribly
You'll say let me carry that
Give that to me
And you will take the heavy stuff
And you will drive the car
And I'll look out the window making jokes
About the way things are

How can I go home
With nothing to say
I know you're going to look at me that way
And say what did you do out there
And what did you decide
You said you needed time

Buildings and bridges
Are made to bend in the wind
To withstand the world,
That's what it takes
All that steel and stone
Is no match for the air, my friend
What doesn't bend breaks
What doesn't bend breaks

We are made to bleed
And scab and heal and bleed again
And turn every scar into a joke
We are made to fight
And fuck and talk and fight again
And sit around and laugh until we choke
Sit around and laugh until we choke

I don't know who you were expecting
Probably some bitch who does not budge
With eyes the size of snow
I may get pissed off sometimes
But you seem like the type to hold a grudge
And in the end, I just let go...

Buildings and bridges
Are made to bend in the wind
To withstand the world,
That's what it takes
All that steel and stone
Is no match for the air, my friend
What doesn't bend breaks

Our father who art in a penthouse
Sits in his 37th floor suite
And swivels to gaze down
At the city he made me in
He allows me to stand and
Sollicit graffiti until
He needs the land I stand on
I in my darkened threshold
Am pawing through my pockets
The receipts, the bus schedules
The matchbook phone numbers
The urgent napkin poems
All of which laundering has rendered
Pulpy and strange
Loose change and a key
Ask me
Go ahead, ask me if I care
I got the answer here
I wrote it down somewhere
I just gotta find it
I just gotta find it

Somebody and their spraypaint got too close
Somebody came on too heavy
Now look at me made ugly
By the drooling letters
I was better off alone
Ain't that the way it is
They don't know the first thing
But you don't know that
Until they take the first swing
My fingers are red and swollen from the cold
I'm getting bold in my old age
So go ahead, try the door
It doesn't matter anymore
I know the weakhearted are strongwilled
And we are being kept alive
Until we're killed
He's up there 
The ice is clinking in his glass
I don't ask
I just empty my pockets and wait
It's not fate
It's just circumstance
I don't fool myself with romance
I just live
Phone number to phone number
Dusting them against my thighs
In the warmth of my pockets
Which whisper history incessantly
Asking me where were you

I lower my eyes
Wishing I could cry more
And care less,
Yes it's true,
I was trying to love someone again,
I was caught caring,
Bearing weight

But I love this city, this state
This country is too large
And whoever's in charge up there
Had better take the elevator down
And put more than change in our cup

Fourteenth street and the garbage swirls like a cyclone
Three-o-clock in the afternoon 
And I am going home
F-train is full of high school students
So much shouting, so much laughter
Last night's underwear 
In my back pocket
Sure sign of the morning after

Take me home
Take me home and leave me there
Think I'm going to cry, don't know why
Think I'm going to sing myself a lullaby
Feel free to listen
Feel free to stare

I live in New York, New York 
City that never shuts up
In the daylight everything is so gory
You can hear snatches of stranger's sorry stories
And I moved there from buffalo 
But that's nothing
The trico plant moved to Mexico
Left my uncle standing out in the cold
Said there's your last paycheck 
Have fun growing old

Take me home
Take me home and leave me there
Think I'm going to cry, don't know why
Think I'm going to sing myself a lullaby
Feel free to listen
Feel free to stare

Rockabye baby
In the treetop
When the wind blows
The cradle will rock
When the bough breaks
The cradle will fall
Down will come baby
Cradle and all

Youth is beauty
Money is beauty
Hell, beauty is beauty sometimes
It's the luck of the draw
It's the natural law
It's a joke, it's a crime
I was bored
You were bored
It was a meeting of the minds
Now it's three in the afternoon 
And I can't leave too soon
Saying, thank you I had a nice time

Take me home
Take me home and leave me there
Think I'm going to cry, don't know why
Think I'm going to sing myself a lullaby
Feel free to listen
Feel free to stare

Maybe I'll live my whole life
Just getting by
Maybe I'll be discovered
Maybe I'll be colonized
You can try to train me like a pet
You can try to teach me to behave
But I'll tell you, if I haven't learned it yet
You know,
I ain't gonna sit
I ain't gonna stay

Take me home
Take me home and leave me there
Think I'm going to cry, I don't know why
Think I'm going to sing myself a lullaby
Feel free to listen
Feel free to stare

The heat is so great
It plays tricks with the eye
It turns the road to water
And then from water to sky
And there's a crack in the concrete floor
And it starts at the sink
There's a bathroom in a gas station
And I've locked myself in it to think

And back in the city
The sun bakes the trash on the curb
The men are pissing in doorways
And the rats are running in herds
I got a dream with your face in it
That scares me awake
I put too much on the table
Now I got too much at stake

And I might let you off easy
Yeah I might lead you on
I might wait for you to look for me
And then I might be gone
There's where I come from and 
Where I'm going
And I am lost in between
I might go up to that phone booth
And leave a veiled invitation 
On your machine

And you'll stop me, won't you
If you've heard this one before
The one where I surprise you
By showing up at your front door
Saying let's not ask what's next,
Or how, or why
I am leaving in the morning
So let's not be shy

The door opens
The room winces
The housekeeper comes in 
Without a warning
I squint at the muscular motel light
And say, hey, good morning
As she jumps her keys jingle
And she leaves as quickly
As she came in
And I roll over and taste the pillow with my grin

Well, the sheets are twisted and damp
The heat is so great
And I swear I can feel the mattress
Sinking underneath your weight
Oh sleep is like a fever
And I'm glad when it ends
And the road flows like a river
And pulls me around every bend

And you'll stop me, won't you...

Squint your eyes and look closer
I'm not between you and your ambition
I am a poster girl with no poster
I am thirty-two flavors and then some
And I'm beyond your peripheral vision
So you might want to turn your head
Cuz someday you're going to get hungry
And eat most of the words you just said

Both my parents taught me about good will
And I have done well by their names
Just the kindness i've lavished on strangers
Is more than I can explain
Still there's many 
Who've turned out their porch lights
Just so I would think they were not home
And hid in the dark of their windows
Til I'd passed and left them alone

And god help you if you are an ugly girl
Cause too pretty is also your doom
Cuz everyone harbors a secret hatred
For the prettiest girl in the room
And god help you if you are a phoenix
And you dare to rise up from the ash
A thousand eyes will smolder with jealousy
While you are just flying past

I never tried to give my life meaning
By demeaning you
And I would like to state for the record
I did everything that I could do
I'm not saying that i'm a saint
I just don't want to live that way
No, I will never be a saint
But I will always say

Squint your eyes and look closer
I'm not between you and your ambition
I am a poster girl with no poster
I am thirty-two flavors and then some
And I'm beyond your peripheral vision
So you might want to turn your head
Cuz someday you might find you're starving
And eating all of the words you said

Life used to be life-like
Now it's more like showbiz
I wake up in the night
And I don't know where the bathroom is
And I don't know what town I'm in
Or what sky I am under
And I wake up in the darkness and I
Don't have the will anymore to wonder
Everyone has a skeleton
And a closet to keep it in
And your mine
Every song has a you
A you that the singer sings to
And you're it this time
Baby, you're it this time

When I need to wipe my face
I use the back of my hand
And I like to take up space
Just because I can
And I use my dress
To wipe up my drink
I care less and less
What people think
And you are so lame
You always dissapoint me
It's kind of like our running joke
But it's really not funny
And I just want you to live up to
The image of you I create
I see you and I'm so unsatisfied
I see you and I dilate

So I'll walk the plank
And I'll jump with a smile
If I'm gonna go down
I'm gonna do it with style
And you won't see me surrender
You won't hear me confess
'Cuz you've left me with nothing
But I've worked with less
And I learn every room long enough
To make it to the door
And then I hear it click shut behind me
And every key works differently
I forget everytime
And forgetting defines me
That's what defines me

When I say you sucked my brain out
The English translation is I am in love with you
And it is no fun
But I don't use words like love
'Cuz works like that don't matter
But don't look so offended
You know, you should be flattered
And I wake up in the night
In some big hotel bed
And my hands grope for the light
And my hands grope for my head
The world is my oyster
The road is my home
And I know that I'm better
Off alone

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I heard the sound of your bike,
As your wheels hit the gravel,
Then your engine in the driveway 
Cutting off
And I pushed through the screen door
And I stood out on the porch
Thinking fight, fight, fight
At all costs, 
But instead I let you in, 
Just like I've always done
And I sat you down and offered you a beer
And across the kitchen table 
I fired several rounds,
But you were still sitting here 
When the smoke cleared.
And you came crawling back 
To say that you wanna
Make good in the end

And oh, oh, 
Let me count the ways 
That I abhor you,
And you were never a good lay
And you were never a good friend
But, oh, oh, what else can I say...
I adore you

All I need is my leather,
One t-shirt and two socks,
I'll keep my hands warm 
In your pockets 
And we can use the engine block,
And we'll ride out to California
With my arms around your chest,
And I'll pretend that this is real
'Cuz this is what I like best,
And you've been juggling two women
Like a stupid circus clown
Telling us both we are the one
And maybe you can keep me from ever being happy,
But you're not gonna stop me from having fun.
So let's go before I change my mind
I'll leave the luggage of all your lives behind
'Cuz I am bigger than everything that came before

And you were never very kind, 
And you let me way down every time
But oh, oh, oh what can I say...
I adore you

I heard the sound of your bike,
As your wheels hit the gravel, 
Then your engine in the driveway 
Cutting off

Think I'm going for a walk now
I feel a little unsteady
I don't want nobody to follow me
'Cept maybe you
I could make you happy you know
If you weren't already
I could do a lot of things
And I do

Tell you the truth I prefer
The worst of you
Too bad you had to have a better half
She's not really my type
But I think you two are forever
And I hate to say it but
You're perfect together

So fuck you
And your untouchable face
And fuck you
For existing in the first place
And who am I
That I should be vying for your touch
And who am I
Bet you can't even tell me that much

Two-thirty in the morning
And my gas tank will be empty soon
Neon sign on the horizon
Rubbing elbows with the moon
A safe haven of sleepless
Where the deep fryer's always on
Radio is counting down
The top 20 country songs
And out on the porch the fly strip is
Waving like a flag in the wind
Y'know, I don't look forward
To seeing you again soon
You'll look like a photograph of yourself
Taken from far far away
And I won't know what to do
And I won't know what to say

Except fuck you...

I see you and i'm so perplexed
What was I thinking
What will I think of next
Where can I hide
In the back room there's a lamp
That hangs over the pool table
And when the fan is on it swings
Gently side to side
There's a changing constellation of balls as we are playing
I see orion and say nothing
The only thing I can think of saying is fuck you...

I do it for the joy it brings
Because I'm a joyful girl
Because the world owes me nothing
And we owe each other the world
I do it because it's the least I can do
I do it because I learned it from you
I do it just because I want to
Because I want to

Everything I do is judged
And they mostly get it wrong
But oh well
'Cuz the bathroom mirror has not budged
And the woman who lives there can tell
The truth from the stuff that they say
And she looks me in the eye
And says would you prefer the easy way?
No, well O.K. then
Don't cry

And I wonder if everything I do
I do instead of something I want to do more
The question fills my head
I know that there's no grand plan here
This is just the way it goes
And when everything else seems unclear
I guess at least I know

I do it for the joy it brings...

In a coffee shop in a city
Which is every coffee shop in every city
On a day which is every day
I picked up a magazine
Which is every magazine
Read a story, and then forgot it right away

They say goldfish have no memory
I guess their lives are much like mine
And the little plastic castle
Is a surprise every time
And it's hard to say if they're happy
But they don't seem much to mind

From the shape of your shaved head
I recognized your silhoutte
As you walked out of the sun and sat down
And the sight of your sleepy smile 
Eclipsed all the other people
As they paused to sneer at the two girls 
From out of town

I said, look at you this morning
You are, by far, the cutest
But be careful getting coffee
I think these people want to shoot us
Or maybe there's some kind of local competition here
To see who can be the rudest

People talk 
About my image
Like I come in two dimensions
Like lipstick is a sign of my decling mind
Like what I happen to be wearing 
The day that someone takes a picture
Is my new statement for all of womankind

I wish they could see us now
In leather bras and rubber shorts
Like some ridiculous team uniform
For some ridculous new sport
Quick someone call the girl police
And file a report

In a coffe shop in a city
Which is every coffee shop in every city
On a day which is every day

They were digging a new foundation in Manhattan 
They discovered a slave cemetery there 
And may their souls rest easy now that lynching has been frowned upon 
And we've moved on to the electric chair 

And I wonder who's gonna be president 
Tweedle dum or tweedle dumber? 
And who's gonna have the big
Blockbuster box office 
This summer 
How 'bout we put up a wall 
Between the houses and the highway 
And then you can go your way
And I can go my way

Except all the radios agree with all the TVs
And all the magazines agree with all the radios
And I keep hearing that same damn song 
Everywhere I go
Maybe I should put a bucket over my head 
And a marshmallow in each ear 
And stumble around for another dumb numb week 
For another hum drum hit song to appear

People used to make records 
As in a record of event
The event of people
Playing music in a room
Now everything is cross-marketing 
It's about sunglasses and shoes 
Or guns or drugs
You choose

We got it rehashed
We got it half-assed
We're digging up all the graves
And we're spitting on the past
And we can choose between the colors
Of the lipstick on the whores
Cuz we know difference
Between the font of twenty percent more
And the font of teriyaki
You tell me
How does it make you feel? 
You tell me what's real

And they say that alcoholics are always alcoholics 
Even when they're as dry as my lips for years
Even when they're stranded on a small desert island 
With no place in two thousand miles to buy beer
And I wonder is he different is he different
Has he changed 
What he's about
Or is he just a liar 
With nothing to lie about
I'm headed for the same brick wall
Is there anything I can do
About anything at all

Except go back to that corner in manhattan 
And dig deeper 
Dig deeper this time
Down beneath the impossible pain of our history
Beneath unknown bones 
Beneath the bedrock of the mystery 
Beneath the sewage system an the path train
Beneath the cobblestones and the water main
Beneath the traffic of friendships and street deals
Between the screeching of kamikaze cab wheels wheels
Beneath everything I can think of to think about
Beneath it all
Beneath all get out
Beneath the good and the kind and the stupid and the cruel
There's a fire just waiting for fuel

You can't hide behind social graces
So don't try to be all touchy feely
Cuz you've lie in my face of all places
But I got no problem with that really

What bugs me is that you believe what you're saying
What bothers me is that you don't know how you feel
What scares me is that while you're telling me stories 
You actually believe that they are real 

And I got no illusions about you
Guess what I never did
And when I said
When I said I'll take it
I meant
I meant as is

Just give up 
And admit you're an asshole
You would be in some good company
And I think you'd find that your friends would forgive you
Or maybe I am just speaking for me

When I look around 
I think this, this is good enough
And I try to laugh 
At whatever life brings
Cuz when I look down
I just miss all the good stuff
And when I look up
I just trip over things

I've got no illusions about you
Guess what i never did
When I say
When I say I'll take it
I mean
I mean as is

They told you your music
Could reach millions
That the choice was up to you
You told me they always pay for lunch
And they believe in what I do
And I wonder if you miss your old friends
Once you've proven what you're worth
Yeah I wonder
When you're a big star
Will you miss the earth

And I know you would always want more
I know you would never be done
'Cuz everyone is a fucking napoleon
Yeah everyone is a fucking napoleon

And the next time
That I saw you
You were larger than life
You came and you conquered
You were doing alright
You had an army of suits behind you
And all you had to be was willing
And I said I still make a pretty good living
You must make a killing a killing

And I hope that you are happy
I hope at least you are having fun
'Cuz but everyone is a fucking napoleon
Yeah everyone is a fucking napoleon

Now you think, so that is
The way it's gonna be
That's what this is all about
I think that that is
The way it always was
You chose not to notice until now
Yeah now that there's a problem
You call me up to confide
And you go on for over an hour
'Bout each one that took you for a ride

And I guess that you dialed my number
'Cuz you thought for sure that i'd agree
I said baby, you know I still love you
But how dare you complain to me

Everyone is a fucking napoleon
Yeah everyone is a fucking napoleon

I cannot name this
I cannot explain this
And I really don't want to
Just call me shameless
I can't even slow this down
Let alone stop this
And I keep looking around
But I cannot top this

If I had any sense
I guess I'd fear this
I guess I'd keep it down
So no one would hear this
I guess I'd shut my mouth and rethink a minute
But I can't shut it now
'Cuz there's something in it

We're in a room without a door
And I am sure without a doubt
They're gonna wanna know
How we got in here
And they're gonna wanna know
How we plan to get out
We better have a good explanation
For all the fun that we had
'Cuz they are coming for us, baby
They are going to be mad
They are going to be mad at us

This is my skeleton
This is the skin it's in
That is, according to light and gravity
I'll take off my disguise
The mask you met me in
'Cuz I got something
For you to see
Just gimme your skeleton
Give me the skin it's in
Yeah baby, this is you
According to me
I never avert my eyes
I never compromise
So nevermind
The poetry

We're in a room without a door...

I gotta cover my butt 'cuz I covet
Another man's wife
I got to divide my emotions
Between wrong and right
Then I get to see how close I can get to it
Without giving in
Then I get to rub up against it
Till I break the skin
Rub up against it
Till I break the skin

They're gonna be mad at us
They're gonna be mad at me and you
Yeah, they're gonna be mad at us
And all the things we wanna do
They're gonna be mad at us
They're gonna be mad at me and you
They're gonna be mad at us
And all the things we like do

Just please don't name this
Please don't explain this
Just blame it all on me
Say I was shameless
Say I couldn't slow it down
Let alone stop it
And say you just hung around
'Cuz you couldn't top it

Hold me down
I am floating away
Into the overcast skies
Over my home town
On election day

What is it about Birmingham?
What is it about buffalo?
Did the hate filled wanna build bunkers
In your beautiful red earth
They want to build them
In our shiny white snow

Now I've drawn closed the curtain
In this little booth where the truth has no place to stand
And I am feeling oh so powerless
In this stupid booth with this useless
Little lever in my hand
And outside my city is bracing
For the next killing thing
Standing by the bridge and praying
For the next doctor
Martin Luther King

It was just one shot
Through the kitchen window
It was just two miles from here
If you fly like a crow
A bullet came to visit a doctor
In his one safe place
A bullet ensuring the right to life
Whizzed past his kid and his wife
And knocked his glasses
Right off of his face

And the blood poured off the pulpit
Yeah the blood poured down the picket lines
Yeah, the hatred was immediate
And the vengence was divine
So they went and stuffed god
Down the barrel of a gun
And after him
They stuffed his only son

Hello birmingham
It's buffalo
I heard you had some trouble
Down there again
And I'm just calling to let to know
That someone understands

I was once escorted
Through the doors of a clinic
By a man in a bulletproof vest
And no bombs went off that day
So I am still here to say Birmingham
I'm wishing you all of my best
Oh Birmingham
I'm wishing you all of my best
Oh Birmingham
I'm wishing you all of my best on this election day

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The sky is grey, the sand is grey, and the ocean is grey. 
I feel right at home in this stunning monochrome, alone in my way. 
I smoke and I drink and every time I blink I have a tiny dream. 
But as bad as I am I'm proud of the fact that I'm worse than I seem. 
What kind of paradise am I looking for? 
I've got everything I want and still I want more. 
Maybe some tiny shiny thing will wash up on the shore. 
You walk through my walls like a ghost on TV
You penetrate me and my little pink heart is on its little brown raft floating out to sea. 
And what can I say but I'm wired this way and you're wired to me
And what can I do but wallow in you unintentionally? 
What kind of paradise am I looking for?
I've got everything I want and still I want more. 
Maybe some tiny shiny key will wash up on the shore. 
Regretfully, I guess I've got three simple things to say. 
Why me? Why this now? Why this way? 
Overtone's ringing, undertow's pulling away under a sky that is grey on sand 
That is grey by an ocean that's grey. 
What kind of paradise am I looking for? 
I've got everything I want and still I want more. 
Maybe some tiny shiny key will wash up on the shore.

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The answer came like a shot in the back 
While you were running from your lesson
Which might explain why years later all you could remember was the terror of the question. 
Plus, you weren't listening hard
You were stockpiling canned goods and making a bomb shelter of our basement.
And I can't believe you let the moral go by while you were soaking in the product placement. 
And where was your conscience? 
Where was your consciousness? 
And where did you put all those letters that you wrote to yourself but could not address? 
Yeah, I'm a good kisser, and you're a fast learner
And that kind of thing could float us for a pretty long time. 
And then one day, you'd realized you've memorized my phone number
And you'll call it and find it's a disconnected line. 
Cuz I got tossed out the window of love's el camino 
And I shattered into a shower of sparks on the curb. 
You were smoking me weren't you between your yellow fingers
You just inhaled and exhaled without saying a word. 
where was your conscience? 
Where was your consciousness? 
And what did you do with all those letters you wrote to yourself but could not address? 
There's a smorgasbord of unspoken poisons
The whole childhood of potions that are all bottled up
And so one by one I am dusting off labels
I am uncorking bottles and I am filling up cups.
Go ahead and have a taste of your own medicine. 
Here I'll have a taste of mine
But first let's toast to the lists that we hold in our fists of the things 
That we promised to do differently next time. 
Cuz the answer came like a shot in the back 
While you ran from your lesson which might explain 
Why years later all you could remember the terror of the question. 
Cause I'm not listening to you anymore. 
My head is too sore and my heart's perforated 
And I am mired in the marrow of my "well ain't that funny?" bone
Learning how to be alone and devastated. 
Where was my conscience? 
Where was my consciousness? 
And where do I put all these letters that I wrote to myself but could not address?

I bet you're wondering if you woke today
just to learn why the caged bird sings
I bet you're wondering if the goddesses are all crazy
or just keeping it interesting
situated slightly outside society
at odds with its odd offerings
I bet you're teetering on the edge of sobriety
just to alleviate a few things

like the fear that you're standing here
because you want to be liked
like you know you need your instrument
but does your instrument need to be mic'd
and you keep imagining that pretty soon
you will just disappear
and thinking that one thing is what saves you from
your fear of being here
here for now, you're here for now, you're here for now

I bet you're looking for the little red 'X'
next to the red arrow and the sign says 'you are here'
I bet you're hoping that your heart will send up the white flag this time
or some sign that the coast is clear
and the moment when your heart jumps in all that's happening
it's like the first time you felt that shock
yes, your heart jumps in all that's happening
and I was right behind the door when you knocked

thinking maybe I'm just standing here
because I want to be liked
yes, I know I need my instrument
but does my instrument need to me mic'd
I keep imagining that pretty soon
I will just disappear
and thinking that one thing is what saves me from
my fear of being here
here for now, I'm here for now, I'm here for now
here for now, I'm here for now, I'm here for now

White people are so scared of black people. 
They bulldoze out to the country, and put up houses on little loop-d-loop streets. 
And while America gets its heart cut right out of its chest
The Berlin wall still runs down main street separating east side from west. 
And nothing is stirring, not even a mouse, in the boarded up stores and the broken down houses
So they hang colorful banners off all the street lamps 
Just to prove they got no manners, no mercy, and no sense. 
And I wonder then what it will take for my city to rise. 
First we admit our mistakes and then we open our eyes. 
The ghost of old buildings are haunting parking lots in the city of good neighbors that history forgot. 
I remember the first time I saw someone lying on the cold street
I thought, "I can't just walk past you, this can't just be true." 
But I learned by example to just keep moving my feet. 
It's amazing the things that we all learn to do. 
So we're led by denial like lambs to the slaughter
Serving empires of style and carbonated sugar water and the old farmroad's a four-lane 
That leads to the mall and my dreams are all guillotines waiting to fall
And I wonder then what it will take for my country to rise. 
First we admit our mistakes and then we open our eyes.
'til nation's last taker succumbs to one last dumb decision 
And America the beautiful is just one big subdivision.

Words and music by Ani DiFranco

As dolls go I am broken
And you could just let that get us off the hook
But from under the umbrella of the unspoken
I see you giving me that look

Baby, you're right as rain about the benefits
But you might be wrong about the costs
And it feeds my heart that you came looking for me
But I'm thinkin I need to stay lost

So I won't say I saw you fibbing
Or jump-jigging across the floor
I won't say you walked me to my car
And draped your arm on my open door

I know my mind is made of matter
But I need to know exactly
What is the matter at it's core?
Because my heart is just a muscle
And simply put, it's sore

So never mind about the benefits
And never mind about the costs
That don't change the basic premises
In which I am surely lost

So I won't say I saw you fibbing
Or jump-jigging across the floor
I won't say you walked me to my car
And draped your arm on my open door

you keep telling me I'm beautiful
but I feel a little less so each time
your love is so colorful
it flashes like a neon sign

but I finally drove out where
the sky is dark enough to see stars
and I found I miss no one
just listening to the swishing of distant cars

so I hope I'd never see the ocean again
pushin' and pulling at me as I go deeper and deeper in
'til I'm so far from my shore
so far from what I came here for

I'll let you surround me
I'll let you drown me
out with your din
and then I learned how to swim

I was floating above myself
watching her do just what you wanted
poor little friendly ghost
wondering why her whole house feels haunted

I told myself I was strong enough
that I had plenty of blood to give
and each elbow cradled a needle
but less and less I'm finding a way to live

so I hope I never see the ocean again
pushin' and pullin' at me as I go deeper and deeper in
til I'm so far from my shore
so far from what I came here for

I let you surround me
I let you drown me
out with your din
and then I learned how to swim

you keep telling me I'm beautiful
but I feel a little less so each time
your love is so colorful
it flashes like a neon sign

but I finally drove out where
the sky is dark enough to see stars
and I found I miss no one
just listening to the swishing of distant cars

I was born to two immigrants
Who knew why they were here
They were happy to pay taxes
For the schools and roads
Happy to be here
They took it seriously
The second job of citizenry
My mother went campaigning door to door
And holding to her hand was me

I was just a girl in a room full of women
Licking stamps and laughing
I remember the feeling of community brewing
Of democracy happening

But I suppose like anybody
I had to teach myself to see
All that stuff that got lost
On its way to church
All that stuff that got lost
On its way to school
All that stuff that got lost
On its way to the house of my family
All that stuff that was not lost on me

Teach myself to see each of us
Through the lens of forgiveness
Like we're stuck with each other (god forbid!)
Teach myself to smile and stop and talk
To a whole other color kid
Teach myself to be new in an instant
Like the truth is accessible at any time
Teach myself it's never really one or the other
There's a paradox in every paradigm

I was just a girl in a room full of women
Licking stamps and laughing
I remember the feeling of community brewing

I'm holding here a book
Notable, but not the greatest
Stolen for me by the latest
In a long line of thieves
And I'm just about to drop it
Down that manhole of memories
When I realize it doesn't bother me
Like love's mementos usually do
And I look up to see who's different here
The latest me or the latest you

Course, you're the kind of guy who doesn't lie
He just doctors everything
Chooses some unassuming finger
And quietly moves his wedding ring
Who rewrites his autobiography
For any pretty girl who'll sing
But you can't fool the queen, baby
Cuz I married the king

And maybe it was I who betrayed his majesty
With no opposite reality
Like a puddle with no reflection
Of the sky or the trees
But after my dreaded beheading
I tied that sucker back on with a string
And I guess I'm pretty different now
Considering

I kissed you on the street that night
On the far side of four
But I didn't like the taste
In my mouth or yours
And ignoring the persona you wore for my benefit
For once I had the balls to call it
Just call it
But a lesson must be lived
In order to be learned
And the clarity to see and stop this now
That is what I've earned

And maybe it was I who betrayed his majesty
With no opposite reality
Like a puddle with no reflection
Of the sky or the trees
But after my dreaded beheading
I tied that sucker back on with a string
And I guess I'm pretty different now
Considering

I'm holding here a book
Notable, but not the greatest
Stolen for me by the latest
In a long line of thieves
And I'm just about to drop it
Down that manhole of memories
When I realize it doesn't bother me
And heartache not so dire
Cuz I looked up to see integrity

I am out here studying stones
Trying to learn to be less alive
Using all of my will
To keep very still
Still even on the inside
I've cut all of the pertinent wires
So my eyes can't make that connection
I am holding my breath
I am feigning my death
When I'm looking in your direction

'Course numb is an old hat
Old as my oldest memories
See that one's my mother
And that one's my father
And that one in the hat, that's me
It's a skill I'd hoped to abandon
When I got out on the open road
But any more pent up emotion
And I think I'm gonna explode

There's never been an endeavor so strange
As trying to slow the blood in my veins
To keep my face blank
As a stone that just sank
Until not a ripple remains
I am high above the tree line
Sitting cross legged on the ground
When all of the forbidden fruit has fallen and rotted
That's when I'm gonna come down

'Course numb is an old hat
Old as my oldest memories
See that one's my mother
And that one's my father
And that one in the hat, that's me
It's a skill I'd hoped to abandon
When I got out on the open road
But any more pent up emotion

So that's how you found me
Rain falling around me
Lookin down at a worm
With a long way to go
And the traffic was hissing by
And i was homesick
And i was high

I was surrounded by a language
In which i could say only hello
And thank you very much
But you spoke so i could understand
And i drew a treasure map on your hand

And you were no picnic
You were no prize
But you had just enough pathos
To keep me hypnotized
Hypnotized

The map led to an island
In a sea of store-bought dreams
Where soulless singers sang
Over beats built by machines

And lovely girls were hovering
Above my head like gulls
With their long slender necks
And their delicate skulls

And i was no picnic
I was no prize
But i had just enough sweetness
To keep you hypnotized
Hypnotized

So that's how you found me
Rain falling around me
Lookin down at a worm
With a long way to go

When the joy had left your body
And you were locked into your own pulse
You used to love to sit by the water
And watch it lapping on the rocks
And every time you put your feet in
You cry out and you pray
But its all downhill from here, baby
So naturally, I can't stay

First you roll your eyes to heaven
Say you've never had love so divine
But it will go from more than ever
To not enough in no time

You will push and
You will push until
You push me away
I hear you cry out for your water
I know you'll curse it someday

I guess for me there's been few
Who've walked up smiling and drawn a line
Between so far and from now on
Yes a big glowing life time

And I've been disappointed
I've been heart-broken
I too have loved from afar
But we are 78% water
Even our pumping hearts

Millennium theater
Get out there and buy that water and gas
Ramadan orange alert
Everybody put on your gas mask

First leak it out about the president
Then stand up and shout "impeachment"
Pulling coat tails out from under that little V.P.
Before he has a chance to get in the driver's seat

Millennium spectacle
Everybody put on a show
Slip a little prince in the back door
21st century here we go

Digital whiplash
So many formats so little time
While out in TV nation
Under darkening skies
The resistance is just waiting
To be organized

Millennium theater
Chief justice is for sale
Yucca mountain goddesses
Their tears they form a trail

Trickle down Israel
Patriarchies realign
The ice caps melt
And New Orleans bides her time
New Orleans bides her time

Ladies and gentlemen
Welcome to tonight's show
The millennium theater
Asks that you not smoke
Please turn off your cell phones
And forget what you think you know

Coming of age during the plague of Reagan and Bush
Watching capitalism gun down democracy
It had this funny effect on me
I guess

I am cancer
I am HIV
And I'm down at the blue Jesus
Blue Cross hospital
Just lookin' up from my pillow
Feeling blessed

And the mighty multinationals
Have monopolized the oxygen
So it's as easy as breathing
For us all to participate

Yes they're buying and selling off shares of air
And you know it's all around you
But it's hard to point and say "there"
So you just sit on your hands
And quietly contemplate

Your next bold move
The next thing you're gonna need to prove to yourself

What a waste of thumbs that are opposable
To make machines that are disposable
And sell them to seagulls flying in circles
Around one big right wing

Yes, the left wing was broken long ago
By the slingshot of cointelpro
And now it's so hard to have faith in anything

Especially your next bold move
Or the next thing you're gonna need to prove to yourself

You want to track each trickle
Back to its source
And then scream up the faucet
'Til your face is hoarse
Cuz you're surrounded by a world's worth
Of things you just can't excuse

But you've got the hard cough of a chain smoker
And you're at the arctic circle playing strip poker
And it's getting colder and colder
Everytime you lose

So go ahead
Make your next bold move
Tell us
What's the next thing you're gonna need to prove to yourself

I am walking
Out in the rain
And I am listening to the low moan
Of the dial tone again
And I am getting
Nowhere with you
And I can't let it go
And I can't get through...
The old woman behind the pink curtains
And the closed door
On the first floor
She's listening through the air shaft
To see how long our swan song can last
And both hands
Now use both hands
Oh, no don't close your eyes
I am writing
Graffitti on your body
I am drawing the story of
How hard we tried
I am watching your chest rise and fall
Like the tides of my life,
And the rest of it all
And your bones have been my bedframe
And your flesh has been my pillow
I am waiting for sleep
To offer up the deep
With both hands
In each other's shadows we grew less and less tall
And eventually our theories couldn't explain it all
And I'm recording our history now on the bedroom wall
And eventually the landlord will come
And paint over it all
And I am walking
Out in the rain
And I am listening to the low moan of the dial tone again
And I am getting nowhere with you
And I can't let it go
And I can't get though
So now use both hands
Please use both hands
Oh, no don't close your eyes
I am writing graffitti on your body
I am drawing the story of how hard we tried
Hard we tried

I search your profile
For a translation
I study the conversation
Like a map
'Cause I know there is strength
In the differences between us
And I know there is comfort
Where we overlap

Come here
Stand in front of the light
Stand still
So I can see your silouette
I hope
You have got all night
'Cause I'm not done looking,
No, I'm not done looking yet

Each one of us
Wants a piece of the action
You can hear it in what we say
You can see it in what we do
We negotiate with chaos
For some sense of satisfaction
If you won't give it to me
At least give me a better view

Come here
Stand in front of the light
Stand still
So I can see your silouette
I hope
You have got all night
'Cause I'm not done looking
No, I'm not done looking yet

I build each one of my songs
Out of glass
So you can see me inside of them
I suppose
Or you could just leave the image of me
In the backround, I guess
And watch your own reflection superimposed

I build each one of my days out of hope
And I give that hope your name
And I don't know you that well
But it don't take much to tell
Either you don't have the balls
Or you don't feel the same

Come here
Stand in front of the light
Stand still
So I can see your silouette
I hope
You have got all night
'Cause I'm not done looking
No, I'm not done looking yet

I search your profile for a translation
I study the conversation like a map
'Cause I know there is strength
In the differences between us
And I know there is comfort