Dane Cook
"Pranks"

"I'm a big practical joker man, I love to play practical jokes.
I have one for you guys, you gotta try this.
Really simple, very effective.
Next time your at the airport, your at the airport.
You see someone waitng for their flight, ok, they're just sitting there,
reading a paper whatever, just chillin out.
Here's what your gonna do, just like this.
Walk over to them really slowly, just walk.
Stand right in front of them, wait till they feel you there,
you know what I mean?
When they finally look up at you, just really seriously look them in they
eyes and go like this...
"Don't get on the flight."....hehe...
You know they're sittin' there going.
"I don't think I should get on this fucking flight. I think an ANGEL
just told me not to get on the flight! Thank you angel wearing jeans!"

How bout this one right. All you need for this is a pair of gloves,
just take your gloves, right.
And go down to the bank. Get behind all the people in the bank.
Give the person in front of you a little nudge, just a little nudge.
Wait till they turn around, and when they turn around,
start putting on the gloves and say...
"Now would be a good time to leave, right now."
Either that or take out a piece of paper and a pen and say...
"Hey, how do you spell shoot-you-in-the-fucking-face?
Come on, hurry up, one word? What is it?"

Here's a fun one right.
Guys, next time you at a bar, whatever, and you see a girl at the bar.
Just walk up to her and go like this...
"Hey, are you gonna walk to your car by yourself later?
I'll be over here watching you all night.