Dane Cook
"Intro/Riot"

YES!...Yes..yes..yes. Yes..Yes..Y-E-S. Yes.
We are going to have a relationship tonight.
I'm gonna go out with you. We're gunna date for a while.
We're gonna make sweet, sweet comedy love with each other.
And then suddenly without warning I'm not even gunna call you guys
anymore. The last thing you will have heard me say was,
"hey, i'll call you guys later" and I never call.
But you hear from the grapevine, I'm dating a younger, sexier crowd.
And then I'm really happy, but I'm not happy cuz I think about you guys.
And about a year from now, I'm gonna call weeping in the middle
of the night, "(sniff)you were the best crowd I ever had...(sniff)
you really listened to me...and I didnt know the crowd I had til you
despersed." Then we're gonna get together, were gonna hang out,
and maybe we'll all like, ya know, run around town and smash windows
and cause destruction. And I'll make jokes and one of you guys will turn
and be like, "Haha, Dane your a riot!" and I'll go,
"IM A RIOT? YOUR A FUCKING RIOT!"
GET IT?
Thats how things are gonna go down tonight!