Dane Cook
"Five Sisters"

When I was a little kid, I had- I shared everything I had.
I had one brother alright one brother, five sisters.
Dude, I had to wear a tampon just to fit in. I swear to god. Brutal.
They used to dress me in their clothes and shit. You know what I mean?
Send me to school in their fashions.
I'm the only guy in eighth grade wearing like wrangler jeans and... JELLIES!
Nice... nice. Member Jellies? You get a rock in em. OOOHH oooh!
These shoes are trying to kill me! I got a brand new denim jacket...
they bedazzled it and shit. I had a big glittery unicorn on my jacket.
No wonder I'm getting beat up at school. Hi guys do you like my jacket?
*POW POW* ...UGH... UGH